“Sara?” Master Adu-reil called from the lounge. Inside her room, Sara dragged on one boot after the other. Adu-reil had come home early from the conference, complaining about the food, bedding and anything else that sprang to mind. Part of Sara was glad to get away from Xanatos, Juli and the whole uncomfortable, stomach churning situation of the last couple of weeks but at the same time some other part of her wanted to be back in his arms, with him stroking her hair telling her that it was all going to be alright. It was like a war in her head that controlled everything she did, that sprang on her unawares at the worst possible moment. “Sara, hurry up! We need to start meditation now if you are going to get to class on time.” Adu-reil called from the front room again. Wearily Sara sighed and went to meet her master. The door to her room opened just before she got there, and wrinkled face of her master peered at her. “Just making sure you were out of bed.” Adu-reil said cheerily, “We’ve got a lot to do today before first tea.” Sara nodded trying not to let her unhappiness show on her face. She followed her master into the lounge and tried to settle herself on one of the oversized cushions that Adu-reil insisted they use for meditation. She said the cushions made it easier to balance and meditate, but Sara suspected it was more today with her master’s increasing fragility then anything else. She tried to focus on her breathing, letting the world come in but not acknowledging the sounds or thoughts that rushed through her head. Sara had been meditating like this for almost her life. Initiates in the toddlers creche were taught the basics, so by rights she should have been able to meditate anywhere, even in a busy, crowded street. Not today. Sara couldn’t get the thought of Xani out of her mind, it made her angry in a way she couldn’t even begin to comprehend. It also made her stomach ache with wanting him not to be angry with her, to care about her again. Her hand twitched as she continually forced the barrage of images from her mind, she couldn’t let them go. She shifted in her seat. “Sara?” Adu-reil inquired from the other side of the room, “is everything alright?” She opened her eyes to find her master peering at her again, more concerned then before. “I’m alright, I guess,” Sara mumbled trying to plaster a smile over what sounded like an unconvincing lie, “I just have a headache.” “Hmmm,” Adu-reil frowned at her, “Come here.” Diligently Sara stood and crossed the room, her master raised a frail, hand to her forehead for a moment and her frown deepened. “You haven’t got a fever, but you do look a little peaky. Perhaps I should get something for that.” Slowly and stiffly her master made her way off the pillow and into the her bedroom. There was the sound of things being moved and shifted and a minute later Adu-reil reappeared with a bottle of small white pills. “Take one of these, and then go lie down before your classes. It’s best not to meditate with a headache, I’ve always found that if you can’t focus then you can’t get it right. If you can’t get it right then it isn’t worth doing at all.” “Yes Master,” Sara replied dutifully heading towards the kitchen. “I got these while I was on the conference,” Adu-reil was saying behind her, almost to herself, “they’re good for pain and a bit of a pick me up too. Now, I’ll be in the library if you need me.” In the kitchen, Sara poured herself a glass of water and tried to push the thoughts of Xani away again. As she raised the glass to her mouth, a shiver ran down her spine, but Sara ignored it. It was a headache tablet, nothing more. * Saying goodbye to her friends, Sara headed her home after lightsabre practice. She felt euphoric, the last two weeks pushed out of her mind. As she climbed the last set of stair she felt the energy start to drain out of her, replaced by the fears and concerns of this morning. The door to the apartment slid open to reveal a black interior. It wasn’t surprising, her Master often worked late into the night leaving Sara to her own devices. Most times that annoyed Sara, but tonight she was happy just to be by herself. Switching on the light, Sara rubbed her eyes, she was tired all of a sudden but that was no surprising considering the amount of work she had gotten through. Dropping her bag, she headed for the shower. By the time she had showered and changed Sara was exhausted. She headed towards the kitchen to make herself something to eat. As she passed the table she saw the little bottle of tablets still on the table. Sara glanced at them and then glanced again. Adu-reil had said that they were a ‘pick me up’ and if she was going to get through tonight’s work then that was something she was going to need. She hesitated for a second, unsure of what she should do and then grabbed the tube and opened it, shaking two little white pills onto her hand. It was only going to be a once off thing, just to get her through the evening. Maybe it would make it easier to concentrate on her work rather then the constant thoughts of Xani that swirled through her mind. Surely there was no harm in doing it only once? |
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| The Beginning By Kit |
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