“Sara?” Qui-Gon asked through the door. “Sara?” Sara rolled over, rubbing her eyes. The chrono next to her bed said it was early morning and the light streaming in through her window seemed to confirm that. Sara rolled back over and threw the covers over her head. She didn’t move let alone get up. Starting the day meant thinking and thinking eventually lead her to the events of two nights before. Even just the thought of that made Sara cringe and she felt sick. She swallowed quickly trying to contain the sobs that rose in the back of her eyes and threatened to spill out on to the pillow. The sadness inside of her had mostly cried itself out and now what was left of it was slowly turning into a small hard knot of anger, a knot that was growing bigger the deeper she buried it down. ‘Sara?’ Qui-Gon asked again as he opened the door and regarded her huddled figure under the bed sheets. “Maybe if you told me what was wrong.” He sat on the edge of the bed and smoothed the quilt covers with one large hand. Sara wiggled slightly under the blankets and then her head emerged far enough to tuck them under her chin. She glanced up at Qui-Gon, taking in his kind worried expression. Who could think someone that nice could be a master to such a horrible padawan, and yet not know? Who could think someone like that could be so nice to her and yet be doing it on the orders of the council? Sara noticed Qui-Gon's flash of concern over her appearance and the hollow black circles under her eyes. “I still feel sick.” Sara said. Qui-Gon nodded without saying anything and Sara allowed herself to relax. He would let her stay home then, that would mean that she didn’t have to hide from Juli, but mainly it meant that she wouldn’t have to see Xani. This was the second day that Qui-Gon had let her stay home without questioning her motives. Yesterday he had let her stay home and she had spent most of the day crying and tossing restlessly trying to figure out if what Juli had told her was the truth. In a part of her heart, Sara almost wanted for Qui-Gon to question her. That would at least be some outward sign to show her that Qui-Gon wasn’t just looking after her for the sake of the council’s orders. If he questioned her, that would show he cared, wouldn’t it? She glanced up at him again, but Qui-Gon merely smiled at her and stood. “If you need anything Sara, just call.” Qui-Gon said. Sara nodded dumbly and watched as the tall Jedi master walked to the door. “Qui-Gon?” Sara almost whispered it. He turned and smiled at her making it a question in its own right. “Thank you.’ It sounded so lame, even to her but the big Jedi master just nodded. What had she been going to ask him? Whether he actually cared for her, or whether he, like Xanatos secretly despised her? Qui-Gon paused at the door again and Sara felt a spurt of anticipation, maybe now he would demand to know what was going on. “Your friend dropped your books off.” Qui-Gon said. Sara nodded and waited until he left before she turned her face into the pillow and began to cry again. She knew now, Juli had been right. Qui-Gon didn’t care. He didn’t care at all... He hadn’t even wished her a happy birthday. *** Sixteen-year-old Sara pulled off her high-heeled dancing shoes and slipped her Jedi boots on. The brown looked at extreme odds with her black shiny pants and her purple halter top, but she didn’t care, it wasn’t as if anyone was one saw her, in fact she was counting on no-one noticing her at all. Calling on the force for guidance, she took the little rope pack from her belt and lifted the gun aiming towards the window that should belong to the apartment of Qui-Gon Jinn. Her own master, the rather ancient and forgetful Adu-Reil had been called away to the senate leaving her padawan in the capable hands of Qui-Gon Jinn. At that thought Sara’s sighed, Qui-Gon was only looking after to her due to orders for the council. She let the bolt fly and felt the impact into the ceiling just above the window. She tugged the rope securely and pressed the ‘recoil’ button on the gun. Lifting off the ground Sara thought about her plans for the night and the fact that she had remembered to leave two of the windows unlatched so that she could get back in. She had gone to bed about two hours ago and then sneaked out through her window…the club she had wanted to go to had been closed for the night so she had come back home. Now it was only a question of getting back inside without anyone noticing. She landed deftly on the windowsill a well-practiced action from all the other times she had snuck out. The lights were still blazing inside and Sara could see Master Jinn’s tall frame in the chair as he read a book, his padawan Xanatos glanced in her direction and gave raised an eyebrow. Sara scowled, and glared at him. She didn‘t want to think of the way that he had hurt her, had betrayed her for Juli. She didn‘t want to think of everything that had happened since then either. Qui-Gon suddenly yawned and stood up saying goodnight to his padawan and leaving the room. Sara inched across to tug at the edge of her window, it was locked. There was a momentary surge of panic as she deliberated what to do. With a flash, she remembered that she had also left the lounge-room window unlocked in an emergency. Sara inched back again making sure to check for Qui-Gon, he wasn’t there but Xanatos was still sitting in his chair grinning at her. Sara tugged at the window frame of the other one, but this too was locked. I definitely left it open! Sara thought to herself, what can I do? Its not like I can knock. She noticed Xanatos coming towards her that same self-satisfied smile plastered to his face. “Let me in Xanatos.” She murmured to the other padawan. He shrugged and raised a cupped hand to his ear, miming that he couldn’t hear her when she knew that he could. Sara almost growled in the back of her throat, perched on the widow ledge the places she could go were sideways and down. Xanatos shrugged again and moved away from the window switching the light off as he did, not only leaving her in the dark but on the side of a building as well. Sara let go a stream of muttered curses and glanced up, just above her head was a grate, if she could get into that she could gain access into the vents…and then into her room. Sighing with relief she kept the rope wrapped around one hand and used the force to unscrew the small bolts. The grate swung down and she relied on the force to propel her into the opening. Squeezing through Sara managed to crawl down the shaft until she came to the ventilation grate leading to her room. It was dark, she hadn’t been spotted everything had gone according to plan and Xanatos could be dealt with later. Sara unscrewed the plate with the force again and winced at the muffled thump as it hit the floor. She sighed as she slipped through onto the floor, feeling like she had almost hit something big when she landed she sighed again, still hadn’t been spotted, she was still safe. Then someone switched on a light. Sara was momentarily blinded; blinking to herself she prayed to the force that she hadn’t got the wrong room. “Fancy meeting you here, Sara.” That was Master Jinn, Sara could have cursed. “Master Jinn.” Sara said still trying to see past the swirling colours, but bowing all the same. “May I ask what you were doing out.” His voice was calm almost infuriatingly so. “Xanatos was irritating me.” Sara snapped. “Why was Xanatos was irritating you.” Qui-Gon repeated not believing her. Sara caught the undertone of Qui-Gon's voice and almost bit back a retort telling him just how perfect his padawan was. She sighed and her shoulder’s drooped. “I just needed to go away for a while. The temple tends to irritate me after a while.” Sara said sitting on the end of her bed. Qui-Gon took the chair from her desk and sat opposite her. “We could meditate on the problem.” He suggested. “OR not!” Sara said back, “Seriously Master Jinn, thanks for the offer and everything but quiet meditation gets on my nerves almost as much as Master Yoda.” “That must be a lot then.” Qui-Gon gave that wry smile he used whenever he was amused. “Yeah well, if you don’t mind I’d like to go to bed.” Sara said. “You haven’t told me why you left.” ’Cos it is my birthday and because like every other year everyone has forgotten…again. Because you don’t care about me and because your padawan hurt me so badly I don’t know if I can forgive him! Sara thought angrily, outside she kept her composure. “I wanted to get away, like I told you. I didn’t even want to wake you up, that’s why I left the window open, but someone closed them.” Sara said expecting Qui-Gon to admit it or to at least call Xanatos in. Instead the Jedi Master looked thoughtful but he said nothing “Something else bothering you?” Qui-Gon asked. Sara sighed. It must have been all those years as Yoda’s padawan. She thought to herself, He knows the answer before you ask the question. “No.” Sara answered briskly, and then looked at Qui-Gon, “yeah, maybe…okay?” “About your master?” Qui-Gon asked. “Why do you ask if you already know?” Sara snapped back. “Is it about your birthday?” Qui-Gon asked more quietly, “She didn’t forget. She gave me this to give to you.” “You don’t have to pretend it is from her, really Master Jinn. Master has forgotten my birthday since I became her padawan.” Sara said bitterly. “I’m not.” Qui-Gon said passing her a large package. Sara unwrapped revealing a music player; she smiled and bit her lip. “Thanks.” She said after a moment, “but I should really be getting to bed now.” Qui-Gon nodded standing up and watching as Sara slid one of her chips into the player and let the music run on soft. Qui-Gon smiled, Adu-Reil had forgotten her birthday and it had been himself and a couple of the other master’s like An-Paj who had scraped around to get the girl something. Qui-Gon sighed as he turned to shut the door, the girl deserved some recognition, but he hated lying to her about what her master had given her. “Good night Sara.” Qui-Gon said. “Goodnight Master Jinn.” Sara replied running a brush through her hair. Sara wasn’t fooled, she knew that it had been Qui-Gon who had bought her the music-player. Maybe he does care, Sara admitted to herself. She glanced up at Qui-Gon and smiled, the first one in days. The Jedi Master seemed to take heart and he as he turned to leave he quipped back over his shoulder “Oh and Sara, next time you sneak out use the front door.” |
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| Darkness Be My Friend By Kit |