A Jedi should not steal. “Sara, have you seen those tablets I brought back?” Adu-reil called from the front of the apartment. Guiltily Sara turned the little bottle over in her hand and then tucked it under her mattress. She’d gone through them all in little less then a week. The whole bottle of little white pills disappeared inside her. What was worse was that every time she’d told herself it would be the last, and yet it had seemed to only make her want them more, until her thoughts were consumed with the idea of them. Those little white tablets strolled and rolled through her thoughts, flashed behind her eyes when she fell asleep. “Sara?” Adu-reil poked her head around the door frame. Sara plastered a sickly sweet smile on her fact that she just didn’t feel. A Jedi should not lie. “I haven’t seen them Master.” The lie made her bite her tongue with the very idea of it. Her hand began to shake and she clenched her fist until her nails cut into her palm. “Are you alright?” The old lady asked from the door, “you don’t look very well.” “I’m fine.” Another lie, sounding pathetic to her own ears. Adu-reil pursed her lips and moved slowly and carefully into her padawan’s room. Sara’s stomach roiled as she came closer. Now she was done for, the lie would be discovered. Under her mattress the pill bottle felt hard and uncomfortable. Her hands trembled and she clenched them together on top of her lap, trying to quell the feeling that her guilt was as obvious as a lit torch in a darkened room. A Jedi feels only calm. Adu-reil put one of her own trembling, wrinkled hands to Sara’s forehead. She made a little clucking noise and Sara tried not to squirm under the pressure. A Jedi feels only peace. “You don’t look well, but you aren’t running a fever.” Adu-reil said with concern. “See, I told you I’m fine.” Sara said her voice sounding over bright. She got up from the bed, expecting the little bottle to fall out and proclaim itself to the world. Her arms shook, and she tried to cross them quickly before Adu-reil noticed. Too late. The old master made an annoyed sound. “Sara you’re shaking!” “I’m just cold, Master. Really.” Sara lied again. “I think you’re sickening for something.” Adu-reil proclaimed, “go down and see An-Paj.” “Really Master…” Sara pleaded with her Master, “I’ve got so much work to do.” “I think that’s part of the problem. You’ve been working too hard lately. You’ll go straight down and see An-Paj now.” “But Master…” Sara tried once more, but it only seemed to make Adu-reil more decided in her choice. “Go, and I’ll check with him later to see what he said.” Adu-reil pointed towards the door, her posture making it clear to Sara that on this account there would be no argument. Pouting, Sara followed her directions making her way towards the door. She was done for. * A Jedi feels no anger. She was still grumbling by the time she found herself in the temple infirmary. Her stupid master had no idea what she was talking about. Sara reluctantly hung around the outer edges of the waiting room, trying not to be noticed. She folded her arms to try to stop the shaking, and after a while it lessened. Now though she couldn’t get the thought of the pills from her mind. Her mouth started to go dry and after a while she gave up her pretence of trying to be invisible and just sat on the seat. Now she didn’t feel very well at all, she could only think about the pills and where she could get some more from. Finally the last of the knights and cold-ridden padawans were dealt with and An-Paj came out and gave her an inquiring look. His little blue antennae swivelling in her direction. “Well, Sara?” “My master thinks I’m getting sick.” Sara said sulkily. “Well, you’d better come in then.” An-Paj said motioning inside the examination room. Sara got up, trying not to be too obvious that she was deliberately dragging her feet to get in. “How are you feeling?” “I’m fine.” Sara said, scuffing the edge of her boot on the ground. Grunting his assent, An-Paj took her temperature, and peered into her ears and her eyes. “You’re pupils are a little dilated.” He frowned at her, “How are you feeling in general?” “I’m fine Master An-Paj, that’s what I keep saying.” Sara took the opportunity to look around the room. Behind An-Paj the dispensary door stood open. Suddenly Sara couldn’t drag her eyes away. “Alright then. Look Sara, have you talked…” The thought was cut off as another healer poked his head around the door frame. “Sorry An-Paj, I was just wondering if you could come look at this. It’ll only take a minute.” An-Paj gave her an apologetic look. “I’ll be right back.” Sara waited for moment until he was out of sight and then bolted until she stood inside the dispensary. Rows upon rows of bottles stood in front of them, a dizzying, mind bending series of names. For a moment she debated with herself, but the urge to take something, anything even if just to get the thoughts of the other pill bottle under her mattress out of her mind, was too overpowering. She randomly grabbed bottles of pills, stuffing her pockets with them. A Jedi should not steal. She bolted back to her chair, her heart threatening to burst out of her mouth and the hands shaking even worse then before. A minute later An-Paj strolled back in giving her an apologetic look. “Sorry Sara.” “It’s okay.” A Jedi should not lie. “I was asking you if you had been to see a soul-healer.” “About?” Sara asked suddenly annoyed at his apparent concern. “You know what about, Sara.” An-Paj said frowning at her and tapping a finger against desk. “There isn’t anything to talk about.” Sara lied, “I’m fine.” “Okay then.” An-Paj said his voice thick with disbelief. “Can I go then?” Sara asked suddenly wanting to be away from him, away from this whole place. The bottles burnt hot inside her pockets. “Okay then. Off you go.” An-Paj said giving her a concerned look. Sara tried not to run out of there, but all she wanted to do was to be away from him and his concern. She could look after herself. She hurried down the halls until she found and empty room and let herself inside. She didn’t even pause to turn on the light. Instead she sunk down against one of the walls and shook a tiny pill out one of the bottles and dry swallowed it. A moment later a euphoric feeling swept over her body and she let out a breath she didn’t even realise she was holding. The events of that morning swept over again. A Jedi should not steal. A Jedi should not lie. A Jedi feels only calm. A Jedi feels only peace. A Jedi feels no anger. A Jedi… …should not… …feel… In the darkness she began to cry |
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| Chills, Thrills & Sunday Pills By Kit |
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