Jemmy's Diary
Main Page
Fan Fiction
DAY: Wekkren

I don't think I will ever be warm again in my life. That has got to be the biggest disaster in a long line of disasters as far as I am concerned. At least when Sophie and her cronies knocked me about I could honestly say that it wasn't my fault but getting lost amongst what I have been told is the worst weather we've ever had in a decade on Coruscant was just soooooo not bright of me. It wasn't exactly my fault. I've always had this silly dream about running about barefoot in the snow and letting the flakes fall on my bare skin…stupid I know. It's just one of many things I used to dream about when I was stuck on Nargotria fantasizing about what life was like elsewhere. I'd never seen snow before today, I mean not close up. And guess what? It doesn't live up to my hopes but that always seems to be the case.

I got rescued eventually after I stumbled into the pond. And managed to cover myself in icy water. By that time I was so cold I could hardly move! But thankfully old Master Quillan was walking about trying to put huge cloches over his plants so they wouldn't die (It may be a bit late for that, I think). I don't know who was more surprised to come face to face: him or me! You know, he's not a bad person at heart although he can be gruff at times. I kinda lost count of the amount of times the word stupid was used, although he did say it with a concerned expression on his face.

By the time I got in (complete with Master Q's robe draped over me) I was just about ready to die. I was so cold! I don't really remember the turbo lift back up to my…to Evla's apartment. Worst still she was already back, being comforted by Master Berlingside. It turns out that Evla came home, saw the open window blowing the snow in and thought that I had fallen over the balcony! She'd been going out of her mind with worry!

To make matters worse, when she managed to ask me where I had been and I replied that I was sorry that I was such a mess and that I had fallen, I thought she was going to pass out! Evla was determined to get me down to the infirmary but I was equally determined that I was not going! In the end I had a hot bath run for me and then when I was feeling moderately warmed up I went straight to bed with so many covers over me that I could hardly see the door across the other side of the room!

I'm glad you didn't get wet when I fell in the pond, diary. I'd hate to have to start writing all over again. You are the only one who listens to me.


DAY: Wekkren

Evla came in to see how I am. I told her I was fine now. If it was Quiggy I might have fibbed a little and made the most of things because I like having him run about after me! I can't do that with Evla though. She said she felt very awkward about our argument yesterday. I was all set to shout at her again but I am too stiff and tired so I'm going to let the thing drop. What's the point, anyway? I just feel annoyed: what do I have to do to let people see that I'm not a would-be child murderer?

Evla said that she would like to get to know me better and that the misunderstandings had all been as a result of uncertainty. The school holiday begins next week. I have nine weeks to myself to do whatever I want! If only I can think of an animal to pick for this garbage project! So, between Qui-Gee and Evla I should have plenty of people to annoy! Maybe we can get to know each other better. I'm just worried she might not like what she sees…

DAY: Wekkren

She's sent a message to Qui-Gee saying I fell off the balcony!!!

Kriff, he's going to be soooooo worried!

Here is a picture I drew of Quiggy before he left. It's not great coz it was done on a scrap of flimsy but you get the idea. He's telling Ben to tidy his sock basket. That's why you can see he isn't smiling.


DAY: Wekkren

You ever get that 'parent' sort of thing - where you've done something really bad, even if it was accidental, and they go mad as Sith at you? Coz they're so worried about what's happened or what might have happened to you, and they are imagining the worst? I just had Qui-Gee speaking to me, demanding to know if I was alright and why hadn't I bothered to use my com link? Must have been a day for confessions, because I told him I'd rather he took it back and that I didn't feel I could trust myself not to run up a massive debt ordering fast food and stuff with it. He looked a little surprised and told me that he'd talk to me about it when he got back - tomorrow.

Funny thing was that he didn't seem mad. He actually appeared to be smiling just a little. I assume he was smiling. If he'd been one of those disgusting, wriggley babies in the crèche I'd have said it was wind.

Then - and this is the mad bit - Ben came on and started yelling at me! Asking me what the hell I was doing jumping off the balcony in the first place! Well, I was so annoyed at that point that I wasn't inclined to tell him that I didn't fall out. I could see Master J was not impressed with his language so I think that he'll be in for a bit of a lecture later on! Serve him right!

But I've calmed down now. I know that they are upset because they were worried, and in a way that's kind of nice, isn't it? I can't remember the last time someone worried over me. It was probably Nadine, but she would never say so because on Nargotria we never let anyone see when we were scared or unhappy. It's an odd feeling, really weird. I know that Evla wants to speak to me about what happened the other day in the crèche. I'm not sure I want to hear it incase it's not good, but I saw the way she looked when I was brought back by Master Quillan. She was so convinced I must have fallen to my death that I felt really bad for her. I didn't think the Jedi ever got scared and I was sorry for her. So if she was scared, does that mean she was upset that I might be dead or worried that people would say she hadn't been looking after me, like Sal-Fina?

They'd better not say anything of the sort, coz they'll have me to answer to!!!

DAY: Thronlier

School was bad today. We've started to get swimming lessons. I am the only one in the class who can't swim. See, I never got the chance to learn when I was small. Todd hated swimming and screamed because he was sure he'd drown, so I never got to learn. Swimming wasn't exactly required on Nargotria. If they wanted to do something horrible to you they'd just blow your head off rather than wait for you to drown. See, it's quicker that way.

All the kids laughed at me.

We've got a really big pool but our teacher is forced to spend most of the time up at the other end of the water where it's deeper, looking after the others who can swim whilst I'm stuck at the shallow end holding a float! It's humiliating! Not to mention the fact that I looks skinnier than ever in my bathing costume! I have to ask Evla to let me off swimming. I can't ever face it again.

At least as the others were all laughing at me I had a reason to keep away from them, so I didn't get to use my com link today. I expect I will get pestered tomorrow though.

DAY: Thronlier

Evla says she won't let me off swimming, saying it's essential I learn. How am I meant to do that? The teacher ignores me! I'm going to drown for sure and nobody will notice I've gone for three days until they find me floating in the shallow end all purple and bloated! Then Evla will be sorry!

- Jemmy (In a very bad mood again)

DAY: Thronlier

It's not fair!

Quiggy and Ben have been slightly delayed. This means I'll be asleep by the time they arrive! Grrrrrr! I so wanted to see them. Actually I just want to check that they're not full of blaster burns and stab wounds. I don't care what Evla says; these diplomatic parties can be dangerous! Have you seen the high fashion sported by some of the women? I'm telling you, one false move by somebody and next thing you know there's a hatpin in your eye! And what do I say when I have to speak to Quiggy? He's gonna want a full report of all that's happened. And I've done lots of stuff that I shouldn't. He'll be ashamed of me for sure!

Maybe I can do something nice for them, like get some food ready for them when they come back?

Second thoughts, they'll just want to crash, if they're as late back as Evla says. Well, I still have a few hours to kill before I turn in for the night. What do I do? Evla will be out again in the next half-hour so I'll be on my own. I think after what happened with the snow and the window, I'd best stay put. I don't want to get into more trouble. Evie was so upset! I couldn't bear to see her so sad again.

I'll just stay in and do some painting before I go to bed.

DAY: Thronlier

Evla's gone. I told her I'd be good - and she gave me the strangest look! I don't think she trusts me when I say that. It's not my fault - I'm sorry for the window thing! If I'd known what would happen I would never have done it!

Anyhow, I'm working on a drawing of Ben. I'm working from a flimsy pic as a guide. I really love drawing, because it's one of the few things I am good at. Everyone at school says I am great at it. Ms. Vram says that I am better than a lot of people twice may age and that I have a "good and analytical eye." Is that how you spell that word? That's something else I am not good at. There's lots I'm not good at.

See, I never got taught properly like other kids and I'm struggling to keep up with the other kids in lots of subjects. Sometimes I could just look at my mathematics lessons and cry, but I don't dare. The only one who can do anything about the problem is me, so I can't tell anyone about it either. I'd rather that they thought I was thick than letting them know why I am so bad at stuff. If the kids found out I was a slave before I came to Coruscant they will just make my life even more unbearable than it is.

Drawing is my escape. I wish I could draw all day and not have to do boring science and stuff.

Ben's got a nice face. I like his eyes best of all. Sometimes they say things even when he doesn't speak. I'm so glad he's my friend.

DAY: Thronlier

My picture of Ben's quite good. It looks like him, sort of. I'll leave it for him as a present, to say welcome back.

DAY: Thronlier

I'm bored. I want to do something. It's too early to sleep! Now I know why Evla gave me that funny look. She knew I'd be bored!!!

I can't stand this! I want to do something. There's some of that wine left over in the refrigeration unit…it might help me get to sleep. It worked last time, when Ben swapped with Quiggy for a day and became the master. It did make me sick as well, but it put me to sleep for a bit…

I'll just take a drop. Evla will understand.

DAY: Thronlier

It's a bit flat now, but I like the pink color. I won't take much coz that would be wrong.

Hey, my stomach feels all glowy! Is it meant to work like that? If it does, then I like it! A little more wouldn't hurt, surely! Just a small refill…

Wasn't allowed any wine on Nargotria. Just for the guests. But it always smelled so good! Now I know why they didn't let me have any! Sometimes we'd mix it into the food and Nadine would take a quick sip - just to test it - and it never did her any harm. But she never let me have any because I was too young.

Know what I think, diary? The grown-ups hog all the good stuff for themselves!

DAY: Thronlier

This wine is
VERY nice! But I think I might have taken too much because the room is spinning a bit. But I've decided on what my animal is going to be, so the wine has managed what nothing else has done and kicked my brain into top gear! I'm going to do the humble Nerf!

There's this girl in the class and she is just awful! She's miserable and moody - but cowardly. Not like Sophie Digwurt at all because although she's mean she never uses her fists. I think that's just as well, really. I don't think she could knock the skin off a bowl of lumpy custard…anyhow, I'm getting distracted. Her names Ciziley. She thinks she's so posh! Her family comes from a wealthy part of Alderaan. Figures, coz they all have their noses stuck up in the air on that planet! I pointed out that they couldn't have been that wealthy or else she wouldn't be going to our school. The other kids laughed at her and she went all red in the face!

In a way I feel sorry for her. She's new in our class and that's never a nice feeling. But she's not making any friends by pretending she's superior to everyone. I'll bet my family had more breeding in their toenail clippings than she's ever had!

I mention Ciziley (Or Sizzley, as we call her) because she's a vegetarian. Now, there's nothing wrong with that. I adore animals. They're honest and don't betray you like people do. In fact I've wanted to ask Qui-Gon about getting a pet for ages and ages but I know what the answer will be, so I don't bother. If people choose not to buy them for meat then I say good on them! So yes, I love animals.

I also love to eat them.

Ciziley's been saying unkind things about my Corellian accent. She says that it hurts her head and that I don't speak proper basic! Now, that's just plain horrible! So I'm going to get her right back, and I know exactly how to do it! Just give me a couple of hours! I need to work on my masterpiece!


DAY: Thronlier

More wine! I need more wine! It's really helping the ideas flow! Although I feel very hot in the face. Maybe Evla won't notice!

DAY: Thronlier

Well, after a lot of effort and more wine than I should mention, here is my poem on that most beautiful and loveable creature: the Nerf!


You can bake them,
You can stuff them,
You can turn them into chops.
You can buy them fresh or frozen,
You can get them in the shops.

You can grill them,
You can fry them,
You can put them in a roll.
You can cut them into strips,
And serve them in a bowl.

You can dice them,
You can slice them,
You can put them in a stew.
You can whisk them in a blender,
And reduce their bones to glue.

You can boil them,
You can broil them,
You can squeeze them out of tubes.
You can serve their feet in aspic,
Or just cut them into cubes.

But turn them into paté,
And you had best beware!
Coz all the parts that no-one wants;
It all ends up in there!

You can braze them,
You can glaze them,
You can serve them as a roast.
You can cut them wafer thin,
And then serve them up on toast.

You can mash them,
You can shred them,
You can render down the fat.
You can cover them in batter,
And crisp them in a vat.

You can put them in a soup,
Or nutritious consommé,
For Nerfs are quite delicious,
When eaten any way!

Well, what do you think, diary? Good huh? When I read that out in class that should really do the trick!