ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY:
I don't think Ben tied his trousers tightly enough to the railings. They've blown away and are now heading down towards the gardens.
ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY ONE:
Ben and I went hurrying down to the gardens to find his missing trousers. It was getting quite dark and we were running about like mad. Ben was in such a tizzy that he'd put on his pajama bottoms instead of a replacement pair of trouser pants…I'm just glad that nobody was around to see it. We finally (after an hour of searching) saw the missing garment stuck on the top of a tree!
Ben tried to grab it with the force but it just got more and more tangled. Poor Ben! He was getting so frustrated! He really wanted his trousers back before Quiggy found out where he'd got to. I'm sure Q thinks I am strange anyway after my funny turn. I didn't want him to find out I wasn't back at Evla's resting like he told me to so I decided to save time by offering to climb the tree and help grab his trousers from there.
He wasn't going to let me climb but I have a good sense of balance and I'm lighter than he is. I reminded him how urgent it was to hurry up before we were missed so he gave me a hand up the tree. I managed to climb along the branch okay but Ben kept trying to pull his trousers away with the force. Then the branch snapped back and hit me in the face just as I had hold of the runaway trousers. The upshot was I fell off.
Luckily I landed on something soft: Ben.
Next thing we know there's a light appeared from nowhere in the shape of a hand torch followed by the unmistakable sound of Quillan's voice. I think he must have been out looking for slugs or something. I don't know what he does with the slugs when he catches them but I reckon he fries them with butter and eats them. Anyhow, Ben began to panic and broke into a run and I was tearing after him as fast as I could go, with Quillan's voice echoing after us, and then I caught up with Ben and stood on the feet of his pajamas…and pulled his the bottoms off him! Well, I admit I maybe saw more than a girl should do. Not that it was anything I hadn't seen already. Still, Ben was chronically embarrassed. I think he blushed terribly as he pulled his pajama trousers back up. I could almost feel his face glowing in the dark! I nearly made a remark about him being small but perfectly formed, than I remembered that I am not supposed to know about these kind of things so I shut up.
We got back just as Quiggy was coming back to see what the delay was. I think we got away with it. Even though his eyes did seem to be drawn to the pieces of tree bark stuck in my hair.
Addendum: He also wanted to know what Ben was doing wearing his pajama bottoms. I took him to one side and told him he'd had a little accident.
Well, it's true! From a certain point of view!
ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY TWO:
I'm going to miss them. I know they won't be far away but I will miss them dreadfully. A year or so ago I would have tried not to make many friends. You never know when they will disappear on you. I used to wonder what the point was. Now I have Ben and Quiggy and I am so glad...
But now I am scared that one day they won't come back.
Well, whatever happens it won't be this time around. Part of me would have liked to go with them on this mission but the other part of me is sometimes too scared to even set foot outside the temple. It sounds really weak of me to admit this but I like it when Ben comes to collect me from school. I like showing him off to everyone. I like to let everyone know that Ben is a jedi and they'd better not mess with me or he will sort them out! But most of all I like it because I feel safe when he is there. I know my school is not that far from the temple and it's a simple aircab ride for 5 minutes until I find myself at the doors, but I don't feel safe in aircabs. You get into one of them and you are completely at the mercy of the person flying it. What if that person's evil? Kids go missing every day on the way to school - you read about it on the holo news. I don't get into one of those things on my own without wondering if I'm actually going to get to where I am supposed to be or if I'm going to end up being fed into a garbage masher by some maniac…
I'm nervous. I know I am and that I probably have less to fear than most kids because of my jedi connections. If anything happened to me I know Qui-Gee and maybe Master Berlingside or Master Windu would come after me, but I am still scared. The big guy keeps trying to tell me that I am safe here and that Merdan won't find me but I lived the best part of five years with the man. I know what he is like.
Merdan's dangerous because he is unpredictable. You don't know what he thinks from one moment to the next. If he wants something done he just does it. He doesn't waste time. He's not big on scenes. Revenge doesn't eat away at him; he just waits until he gets his chance. I'm sure he is out to get Levinstowe. I don't care about that. I hope he kills him as painfully and slowly as possible. I'd like to hear him cry and beg for a change. If it ever came to a showdown I would have money on Merdan. Levinstowe is a 'risk taker' and that is why he always fails. Nadine always said he 'overextended himself'. I think that means he got too cocky and made mistakes.
It's wrong to want people to die. But I wouldn't cry if Levinstowe died. I think I would throw a big party.
I just want to feel safe, is that so wrong? And I never feel safe without Ben and Quiggy. I hope they come back soon.
ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY THREE:
Back to school. Evla was very nice and made me breakfast although I could have done it myself. I feel that I should be helping her out coz she must be tired looking after screaming kids in the crèche. Maybe I'll surprise her tomorrow and return the favor.
I'm looking forward to using my com-whatsit for the first time! This could be very interesting!
ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FOUR:
Ms. Vram isn't fond of technology at all! I think she's scared it might bite her!
She caught me showing my Com off to Derry Begsley, a boy in my class who is actually not that bad when you get to know him better. His brother is a secret swoop jockey…they don't have a proper swoop circuit on Coruscant yet so the riders have to practice on the streets at night when there is less traffic and not so many cops looking out for them. I just love swoops! They look so smart. Better than speeder bikes: they are for babies. I'm going to see if I can get Quiggy to take Ben and me to see the 'Art of Speed' exhibition when they come back. It's full of swoops and speeders and anything that flies really fast. Oh, how I want to go see it!!! Maybe Derry's brother will be there!
They have a section in the exhibition that allows you to fly on the back of these things with one of the instructors. They go quite slowly, though. I think that's because if anyone got hurt they'd get sued. I can imagine that Master J would be rather ferocious if anything happened to me. Still, it's worth the risk just to sit on a real swoop!
What was I saying…oh, yes! Ms. Vram confiscated my Com.
I had to explain politely that I was only showing it to Derry and that I needed it because Master Jinn said I had to have it in order to protect me and so he knew how I was getting on in his absence. I also said that he was going to be checking on me (which is a lie) to see that I was doing okay and so I really needed to have it back immediately incase he called me during class break. Ms. Vram got all flustered at the mention of Quiggy and then promptly handed it back to me, commending the kindness of my guardian and even apologizing for taking it from me! Although she did insist I kept it out of sight in class.
See? I'm a great little actress!
ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY FIVE:
During lunch I ordered a huuuuuuuuuuge Sand Dune Pizza and Dillarberry Fizz, which we all sat and devoured for the whole hour. I am now extremely popular, which is good. I thought an appeal to their stomachs would be a smart move. I'm just kinda sorry that I had to buy their friendship, though. I think maybe that's not the kind of friend that will stick around for long. When they've had what they want they will walk away and I'll be as lonely as I was before, infact more lonely coz now I'll know what it's like to have people to speak to and I will miss it.
Maybe one or two of them will prove loyal.
Derry seems really friendly. One or two of the girls seem to be making a genuine effort to be nicer. And there's a new girl in class who is shy and has nobody to talk to so she latched onto me straight away.
I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with this. It's like having a shadow…albeit a taller one. I am still the smallest person in my year and I don't know why. It's so unfair!
I really hope Master Windu doesn't find out that I charged my pizza to his account!!!
ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY SIX:
I sent a message to Quiggy last night before I went to bed. I just said I hoped he was having a good time and that Ben wasn't overeating during the receptions that were going on. I know what he's like! He left a message for me this morning hoping that I had been behaving myself…the way he said it was as if he knew about the pizza! Can that man tell what I'm up to even on the other side of the planet? If he can I am in big trouble!
Oh, and he said that my warning came too late coz Ben had stuffed himself all last night and would be missing the talks this morning as he was sick all evening. Typical Ben!!!
I made Evla breakfast but managed to spill hot Juma Current tea down my school uniform. That stuff tastes really lovely but it makes a bad mess of clothes. The stain is terrible to get out if you don't soak it straight away. I had to change uniform and get my stuff into the bath. It actually held Evla back and I was sorry to cause her so much trouble.
I bought more munchies today. This time I charged them to Master Berlingside. He snacks on the quiet, even though he thinks nobody knows, but Kryztan Harkley told me that he does! So he'll never know! (I hope).
ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY SEVEN:
When I got home I told Evla sorry for making her late for her first shift that day. She looked tired and I felt so guilty because she has to go back and do another shift.
Then she said if I wanted to make it up to her I could help her at the crèche!!! She really needs the help right now. It's NOT fair! I promised myself I'd never go back!
But I guess I can't let Evla down.
ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY EIGHT:
Kriffing kids! I hate them!
They keep pulling my hair! And they're just so disgusting that I wanted to drop one of the screaming brats in the waste disposal shute! I told Evla that I don't like them but she won't listen! She's determined to make me suffer for what I did and I am so angry now I could just kick the wall!
It's either that or kick the kids and I don't think I'd better do that, tempting as it is.
It's the screaming noise I hate the most, and they always scream when they are near me. Even the older ones cry when I walk into a room. But the babies I hate the most. You can't tell what they are wanting! You can check everything about them and still not be able to tell what's wrong. Evla better let me out of here soon or I am in serious danger of causing major damage to these wailing and shrieking things!
How do kids ever want dolls? What's the appeal? I'll stick with my fluffy Gundark, thank you! Dolls are evil. They are just there to con other children into thinking that babies are wonderful. Well let me tell you that it's not true! Dolls sit still and let you do what you want! They don't kick, they don't scream and they don't up-chuck on you! How can people ever want kids??? How can anyone even want to do what is necessary to have kids? The whole thing is just disgusting!
Evla, let me out of here!
ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY EIGHT:
I went to check on the older kids and one of them had turned a funny blue color! He'd stuck something in his mouth and was choking, so I turned him upside down and whacked him on the back. The ungrateful brat screamed at me! The thing shot out of his mouth (turns out it was a piece of candy) and the little monster just kept yelling and yelling!
One of the crèche masters came through to see what had happened and I told her. Next thing I know we're all off to the infirmary to get the brat checked over.
And I am getting accused of giving it candy by one of the other crèche masters!
I should have let the little monster choke!
ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY NINE:
Well, I protested my innocence. Not that it did any good of course - nobody believes me in this place. I look at them and I can hear them thinking "She's not one of us! How can we trust her? What kind of unstable background does she come from?" They don't say it of course but I can tell that's what all the healers were thinking. Even An-Paj didn't look at me. The worst of it is that I can see Evla's not sure about me either. I can see that she wants to believe me but there's a sort of doubtful look about her as if she can't make up her mind. That just makes me really mad! After all the time I've spent here and people still doubt me…I'll never be trusted by the Jedi. But I really thought Evla knew me better than that. Even Master J would have believed me!
Maybe it's payback for the pizza.
I really thought that Evla liked me, that's what's so hurtful about this. I mean, I don't like kids. I'm the first to admit it. Even so, how can she think I'd try and choke one to death with a piece of candy? I could have just dropped the screaming brat on the ground - that would have been much quicker! But I didn't, so what's the problem?
Where's Quiggy when you need him???
I'm gonna sneak out of here and call him. I need a lawyer!
Of course I know that running out of here will only make me look guilty but what else am I supposed to do? Master Jinn says that running away never solves anything and he might be right. I can remember what happened when I hid myself in the storeroom not that long ago. If it hadn't been for Gethin…
Maybe I'll just go to the gardens and try to relax.
ENTRY ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY:
Evla came looking for me. I heard her calling on me a few minutes ago. All she has to do is use her force stuff and I'm sure she will find me if she really wants to, but she hasn't so I guess she really doesn't want to speak to me. I feel utterly miserable and I don't have the energy to pull myself out of my black mood like I usually can. It's beginning to get dark now but I don't feel like moving just yet. I'll just listen to the insects buzzing about near the fountains. Maybe I'll just stay here. It's not like I've got much reason to go back right now, is there?