The secret and highly private journal of Jemmiah Gleshan. Enter at your peril and on pain of death. Or at the least a severe maiming and loss of vital body parts…
Please note that this journal is for my eyes only, except for Ben when I am no longer here.
Well, hello diary. I don't know if that's the correct way to speak to a diary or not -like you'll care if I get it wrong- but anyhow here we both are. I'm don't really know what to write. I don't know why I was given you as a present. I think Master Jinn wonders if I'm mad sometimes. It was him that gave you to me, see?
Er…I'm stuck. What do I do? Should I tell you who I am?
My name's Jemmiah. My real name's Jemmiah Angeline Gleshan but that's a bit of a mouthful. So, just call me Jemmy, okay? Most of the people I know do. Least ways they did.
Master Jinn doesn't, though. He always calls me by my full name. He says it's pretty. I suppose it is but I'm not very pretty to look at so Jemmy does me just fine. I never call him by his first name either so I suppose we are even. Master sounds more respectful. Like a teacher. And Qui-Gon is just the ugliest name I've ever heard. It doesn't suit him. He looks like he wants to be something noble or majestic sounding. Something that says 'I'm very tall, don't pick on me.' But I'm afraid Qui-Gon isn't a very romantic sounding name.
Then there's Obi-Wan. What does that mean? If you thought Qui-Gon was an odd name who thought up that? I think the people in charge of naming the babies in this place chose the most horribleist names on purpose. So that's why I call him Ben. THAT's what I call a normal name. It's the name of a Corellian prince, see? Benbeau was a nice guy who liked kids and gave lots of presents away. It made him very popular but I think he might have been short on the old braincells. What a waste of money! I wish I'd been living back then, I'd have cleaned him out in seconds! Anyhow, Ben's easier to say. By the time you'd managed to say 'Obi-Wan Kenobi', half the day has gone.
I've been here for a good few months now. I like it here. Most of the people are nice although when I first came here I got stared at a lot. I don't really like that very much. I enjoy living with Ben and Master Jinn. School's okay sometimes. The kids aren't very nice though. And I get too much mathematics. I wish I were the Chancellor because then I would ban mathematics.
Sophie Digwurt is a pain in the rear. I really, REALLY hate her. Badly. Master Jinn says it's wrong to hate people no matter how horrible they are but that can't be right. If somebody locked a bunch of people up in a turbo lift and then set fire to it, killing everyone inside, am I expected to shake the killer by the hand and tell him what a good job he's done? It doesn't make sense. I told him this and he just sighed and shook his head. Sometimes I think he's disappointed in me.
Sophie's just had her teeth repaired from when she bit into those rock cakes with the stones in them. Maybe I'm getting the message across. I told her that if she wanted her teeth to stay fixed she'd keep out of my way. She actually looked worried for a bit.
Oh, well. That's enough for just now. Hope that was okay.
I think I'm coming down with a cold or something. My head feels like it's full of lumpy porridge. An-Paj (that's the healer guy with the white hair) told me when I first came that my immune system (the thing that makes you stay healthy) wasn't working properly and that it would take a long while to get better. This means that if there's any germs going I will get it. I don't know how long things are going to be like that but it looks like it might be permanently wonky. Something to do with the illness I got when I was on Nargotria. That's why I'm not growing quickly like all the other kids. Sophie Digwurt calls me a stunted weed but I'm a weed with a nasty sting as she found out when she was picking her teeth off the floor.
I don't think Master Jinn has found out that I'm feeling sick yet, so maybe that trip to the new art gallery is still going to be on. Fingers crossed.
I have to stop now before my head explodes.
Rats. He found out.
Jemmy (annoyed and sick in bed)
Hello again diary,
I'm a little better today; at least that's my story. If I tell myself this often enough maybe I'll believe it. I don't like lying in bed staring at four walls all day. I got enough of that when I was sick and stuck in the infirmary for all those weeks but Master Jinn likes to fuss over me. If I show him I'm better then he's sure to let me out of bed, right?
My hair really needs washed too. I hate it when my hair goes all horrible and tangled up from lying in bed too long, I think that's why Master Jinn calls me 'Tangles'. It's a mess at the moment. I told him I'd thought about getting it cut off because I was fed up with it but 'Qui-Gee' says that I'm just in a bad mood from being sick and I'd regret it later if I did attack it with a pair of jack-scissors. I wouldn't really ever do that because I like having long hair.
He keeps checking up on me. I think this means I'm either about to die or he doesn't trust me.
That's not very fair, is it? I'm too sick to cause trouble…no, I mustn't say that. I AM GETTING BETTER. I AM GETTING BETTER. I AM GETTING BETTER…
Who am I kidding?
At least I don't have to see Sophie Digwurt's ugly face at the moment. Being at death's door has its advantages…
Guess what dairy?
Yup, that's right. I got even worse. I've got a cough that wakes up people living on the outer reaches of Dantooine. I feel really guilty coz I must be annoying everyone around me. I can't help getting sick though. It's not my fault!
Master Jinn's gone majorly into nanny-droid mode. He doesn't so much hover now as set up base camp by my bedside. And when he does leave it's so he can bring in some herbal tea muck. I won't bother you with the details but it tastes really yucky. Ben has a hidden nasty streak to him so I've found out. He told me I'd really enjoy drinking it. He laughed himself silly whilst I struggled not to spray it out over the bedcovers. I'll get better and then I'll find some way of paying him back for that trick.
I've taken to hiding you under my pillow, diary. Master Jinn frowns when he sees me typing on the mini keypad when I'm supposed to be resting. You're the only thing that keeps me from going nuts at the moment, but I think maybe he is right…my vision keeps going swirly. He's threatened to send for An-Paj if I don't improve soon.
I don't deserve that!
Jemmy (coughing and spluttering)
I admit it. I'm really sick.
I'd taken to placing a pillow over my head to stop me from coughing so loudly but Master Jinn thought I might smother myself so he took it away. Ben doesn't laugh at me anymore; at least that's something. He said sorry for the thing with the herbal tea and told me to think of it as carrying on a temple tradition. The masters have been poisoning their padawans with this stuff since the dawn of the jedi, so he says. Ben also says that he gets it shoved down his throat whenever he's ill so I have to suffer too. I have my rapidly growing toy collection round me for comfort, but there's more to it than that. If I surround myself with toys then An-Paj can't get at me with his horrible medicine…
Let's see. There's Treethna the cannoid. Master Berlingside brought him back for me from a mission. Then there's Silas, my Nargot. Ben got him for me yesterday to say sorry for the mean trick he played with the tea. I don't know where from but I thought that was quite sweet. But I won't tell him that.
Llulath is my Nerf toy. He's nice and big with real Nerf's hair. I like him because I can hide behind him. Gruunaaarth is my Wookiee doll. He's great but for some reason I don't understand he smells funny. Master Samir gave me a Togorian toy as well, which seemed to shock Master Jinn rigid. Apparently he isn't normally prone to giving kids gifts and Master Berlingside says that he doesn't even like children at all.
Shorni is my one eyed Gundark. I like him because he gives Master Jinn the creeps. I often catch him staring at the thing when he thinks I'm not looking. I'm sure he wants to throw him down the waste disposal unit. Finally, there's Snordle. He's not really a toy but he's my plasti-bath duck and I can't leave him out, can I?
Bassalads…Master Jinn's coming back in the room and I think he's got An-Paj with him.
That's it. I want to die right now.
Don't get me wrong, I like An-Paj. For someone who likes to stick you with needles he's an okay kinda guy. And he's got these wonderful antennae things on his head. It's just that he enjoys his work too much. Healer Inkerson is just the same except he does teeth. I had to visit him two weeks ago to have my teeth checked. I've got a slack molar at the back just waiting to fall out. The man has an evil laugh that sounds something between a braying Nargot and a bird attempting to lay a square egg.
Anyhow, back to An-Paj. I told you how Master Jinn arrived with him? My trick with the toys didn't work. It didn't even slow him down! He checked my neck to see if it was all swelled up, and my hands, then he took my temperature. All the time Master Jinn's loitering in the background looking worried as per usual and I'm desperately trying to look well. I would like to think it was working until I coughed all over him but I wasn't fooling anyone.
He said he'd be checking on me regularly to make sure I wasn't any worse but said that if I don't get better soon I was to go to…THE INFIRMARY! How cruel is that??? He gave Master Jinn a line to get made up for me and told him it was okay to continue with the herbal tea! I saw the wink he threw at Master Jinn! I only hope the medicine tastes better than that herbal muck or the plants are going to be swimming in it…
Oh, yeah. Just when I think life can't get any worse…out comes this needle!
Okay, it was a small one but that was hardly the point (if you'll pardon the pun). He rolled up my sleeve and even though I put on my best 'don't stab me with that please, I'm only little' look he just ignored me. He just told me that it was for my own good (yeah, right!) and that he only needed a little blood. Then he jabbed me with it. I sorta cried out a bit, then I complained that it hurt.
He told me that "I never said it wouldn't hurt, I just said I only wanted a little blood."
Looked like a full pint to me.
Master Jinn told me to say good afternoon to my attendant vampire. I shouted "GOODBYE!" in a hurt voice and rolled over on my side. I think he got the message.