From A Night To (Almost) Remember
Excerpt by Jemmiah
|As the laughter sounded again, Lilith homed right in on the source.
"You think that's funny d'you?" She lifted her eyebrow questioningly.
"Actually," Obi-Wan smirked, "I think it's pretty hilarious."
"I'm glad you enjoy a good laugh," the strapping Corellian woman nodded at his cheerful expression, "because you are next."
"W-what!?!" Kenobi exclaimed, leaping back a couple of feet.
"You heard. Turn out your pockets."
"I told you, I'm NOT doing it!"
"Oh, now I want to know what he's hiding." Lilith began to herd him up towards the wall.
"So do I!" Jemmiah smiled, although still sounding a touch rough.
"No you don't!" Obi-Wan's features suddenly looked pinched and white.
Jemmy became very suspicious. It wasn't like Ben to be sneaky…
"Look, just back off." Obi-Wan insisted. "My arms are all strapped up and I can't even defend myself!"
"I like a man who's helpless." Lilith continued to stalk him until his back hit the wall.
"Lilith, please!" Emplored Kenobi.
"I like a man who begs, too!" She chuckled. "But I'm afraid my curiosity is too great. Now," she lunged at the young man's hidden pockets, "what have we here? A letter?"
Obi-Wan went scarlet.
"Because you went to so much trouble to keep this from us, I'm gonna read it out!"
"No!" the padawan yelped.
Lilith cleared her throat:
"That's a good start." Acknowledged Krelo as the whistling started. Obi-Wan closed his eyes as his only means of escape.
"I just had to write to you and let you know how very special you are, and how much you've come to mean to me over the years."
"Awwww, that's nice," sniffed An-Paj, "Pray continue."
"There are times when you just walk into a room and everyone else seems to melts away. Just one smile is enough to break my heart."
"That is revolting!" Spider gagged.
"And when you tease and flirt with me it drives me absolutely crazy with desire!"
Obi-Wan didn't dare open his eyes but Jemmiah did risk a quick glance at Qui-Gon, who looked completely and utterly shocked.
And still a little shaky.
"You are by far the most attractive girl I have ever met both outside or within the temple."
"Hey, cheers Piggy!" Meri laughed at his reddened face.
"I just wish my master would let us see each other more often. I admire him in almost everything, except that he can be so damned old fashioned, not to mention mean."
Qui-Gon seemed to take an extra few seconds to register that with his brain.
"Did my padawan just call me mean?" He asked in astonishment.
"To continue," Lilith hurried on:
"It is my fondest hope that very soon we will be able to express our true feelings for each other without any outside interruptions."
There came a loud WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Of insinuation from the other padawans, not to mention a few of the masters.
"In the meantime, please accept this gift as a small token of my undying affection."
Jay and Simeon chuckled.
Sybelle, Letina and Kylenn smirked knowingly.
"Gift?" Qui-Gon asked through the haze of the alcoholic mist still clinging to the fringes of his mind.
"What gift's this?" Dex winked.
Lilith's grin became wider:
"All my love forever and always, your Ben."
"That was horrible." Rela said finally. "You poor helpless romantic!"
"There's an extra line underneath," Lilith added after the rumble of amusement had started to quiet a little:
"By the way, I have to tell you that I think you have the nicest…" Lilith broke off suddenly, feigning a cough. "I think we'll leave that adult-rated stuff to the imagination."
"Nicest what?" Frowned Simeon.
"Forget it." Kenobi mumbled.
"I'd like to know." Simeon insisted.
"So would I!" Jay added with a leer.
"We'll just have to use our imagination." Jodi grinned.
"Or our memories." Zac replied.
Jemmy snatched the letter away. "Legs, guys. He said legs, didn't he Lilith?"
"Er…yeah. Legs." Lilith concurred hurriedly, suddenly realizing the trouble she might have landed Jemmiah in. "What else have we got in Kenobi's pockets?"
She fished around diligently for a moment before pulling out a handful of candy wrappers.
"Gods, he's a walking garbage disposal unit." Lilith eyed him as he squirmed. "And we also have…a holo picture of his beloved." She nodded at Jemmiah.
"Which one?" Jemmy limped over for a better look. "Oh, that one. That's sweet. The one of me sitting on his lap whilst he's pinching my b…."
"Moving swiftly on," Lilith rifled through the boy's right pocket.
Obi-Wan seemed to flinch suddenly as he recalled what was in there.
"And we have…" Lilith pulled out a harmless looking package and tossed it onto the table.
There was an audible pause followed by muted titters from the other cantina crawlers. Qui-Gon staggered somewhat over towards his guilty looking padawan. Obi-Wan knew he was well on the road to recovery when Jinn shot him his best piercing, icy gaze.
"W-well, master," Obi-Wan gulped in embarrassment, "you always say that a Jedi should be prepared for any eventuality."
Qui-Gon stood opposite him, never taking his eyes from his apprentice. The smile he bestowed was lethal.
"In that case Obi-Wan," he said as he eyed the package with its somewhat intimate contents, "prepare to die."
Jemmiah tried valiantly not to give a damn about all the nudges and whispers she was getting aimed in her direction.
Obi-Wan was the color of a small Alderaani Radish.
"I think it's about time we picked on someone else." Lilith said loudly, before leaning in towards Qui-Gon and whispering:
"Or else we might just have to reveal what else we found in your pockets the same time we found the ring."