Kryztan Harkley

The Cruelest Cut Of All
Excerpt by Jemmiah
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Master, I'm not happy about this."

"Kryztan!" Dex growled warningly.

"But you know what day of the week it is! He's…" Kryztan struggled to find a strong enough word, gesturing in circle by the side of his head, "…out of his skull! He's taken a long trip to planet Insanity! He's had a complete reality bypass! He's…on vacation with the over seventies gaga brigade!"

"Hey!" Berlingside frowned. "Show some respect! That's my old master you're talking about."

"I expect my padawan will be referring to you like that one day." Kryztan looked sympathetically at Dex. "He'll say 'How's the crazy old guy today' and I'll say…"

"You won't live to say anything if you carry on like that." Dex snorted. "And anyhow, I don't intend to grow old."

Kryztan looked genuinely shocked.

"W-what do you mean?" he stammered. "Are you saying you'd kill yourself before you got like Quirida-Xac? I was only joking master!" Kryztan actually felt upset at the idea. "I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here!"

"Rest easy then, padawan." Dex smiled. "Suicide strikes me as a bit final. I like the uncertainties of life. What I was trying to say was that I had no intention of growing old," he tapped his skull, "in here. Have you ever heard of an old Corellian? It's not possible and I'm certainly not going to be the first. My body might well give in to the ravages of time but I have no intentions of letting my mind follow suit. Even if I'm incapable I'll still be able to remember my past conquests with considerable fondness. Not to mention chase the lady healers." He looked at Kryztan. "Why else do you think Quirida-Xac moved into the infirmary?"

Kryztan pondered the question in surprise.

"I hadn't really thought about it." He remarked.

"Between you and me, the old Nerf is nowhere near as mad as people make him out to be." Dex smirked. "However, this is the fifth day so I think we ought to be prepared."

"It's the mammoth, isn't it?" Kryztan groaned.

"That's what An-Paj told me on the comlink." Dex grimaced. "Asked to get down here a bit lively. I wonder what could have happened?"

Kryztan looked at his feet as they walked, shoulders slightly slumped.

"I meant what I said, master." He said, embarrassed. "I don't want you to die. Ever."

"Well, I'm not sure that anyone's ever found the elixir of eternal life but if they do I'll certainly give it a go." He grinned suddenly. "But anyhow, I don't need to live forever. Not whilst I've got people like you to remember me by. How can I die then?"

Harkley nodded somewhat emotionally, before Dex spoiled the moment flippantly.

"Besides, I'm Corellian. Nobody forgets a Corellian. We are just too darned wonderful!"

"Yes, master." Kryztan shook his head. "And people say that Alderaanian's have a conceit of themselves…"

Kryztan looked up and got the most wonderful shock of his entire life.

"Goodness gracious…" Dex let his jaw go slack. "Is it raining?"

"I certainly hope so, master." Kryztan nodded vigorously as he watched the curvaceous figure of Jemmiah, with it's rather tight, wet and revealing dress stuck closely to it like a second skin walk towards them.

Dex frowned. "Cover your eyes, boy."

"I'd rather not if you don't mind." Kryztan actually stared ahead. "That's just made my day."

"Actually, it's rather made mine as well. But don't tell Qui-Gon." He replied out the side of his mouth. "My word. She looks a bit of handful."

His eyes widened in horror.

"I did
NOT mean that the way that came out!" he reproved the chuckling Kryztan.

"I agree with you!" Kryztan said delightedly. "I think
two handfuls…"

"I told you, I didn't mean that." Dex actually went red in the face. "Jinny would mince me. I'll leave such youthful yearnings to people such as yourself. I prefer a more mature lady."

"I suppose that's all you can get now." Kryztan clucked.

"Darn cheek!" Berlingside yelped.

Kryztan leaned in conspiratorially.

"I hear Yaddle's looking out for another toyboy." He laughed.

"When I say mature I meant someone under the age of five hundred! And preferably with their own teeth!" Dex scowled.

Jemmy and her red haired companion, who Dex managed to identify as Rela Quinn, drew level with the pair of them.

"Hi, Master D." Jemmiah waved.

"Hello." He looked her up and down. "Don't tell me. They forgot to drain the pool again, huh?"

"I'm trying to catch something." Jemmy explained.

"I should think you'll certainly catch something dressed like that." Dex remarked.

"I hear your master's been a bit of a naughty old goat!" The Corellian girl teased him back.

"It runs in the line." Kryztan grinned, only to feel a hand clasping his ear.

"Ow!" he yelped.

"Don't be so melodramatic! It never did me any harm."

"What, getting your ear pulled or parading round the temple in a wet dress…OWWW!"

"I do apologize." Dex smiled sweetly at Jemmiah and Rela. "He's a bit over-excited."

"So I noticed." Rela smirked. "I think Jaz wanted to have a word with you."

"Did she?" Kryztan frowned; rubbing his lobe as Dex let go. "Did she say what about?"

"Er…I'll leave that to her." Rela hedged.

"I'd go and put on something a little less…" Dex considered, "a little less likely to cause the male population to have cardiac problems."

Jemmy just laughed and continued to walk away, waving once more as she went.

Dex watched her go, noticing the way that Kryztan was staring after her.

"I think you are the one who needs the cold shower." He remarked casually. "Pick your tongue off the floor, my lad…I don't know though." He gazed at the swinging hips as they headed down the corridor.

"I thought you were only interested in mature ladies." Kryztan quipped.

"No harm in looking." Dex said defensively. "You're only as young as the girl you feel."

"I'll tell Yaddle to go put her teeth in, shall I?" Kryztan laughed.