Tube-Rat's Glossary
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"Squeak-squeak" (Hello)

"Squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak." (Welcome to Tube Rat's Glossary)

"Squeaky-squeak. Squeak-squeak-squeakity-squeak." (In my domain you will find the definitions to many words and phrases in the Star Wars Universe)

"Squeak-squeak-squeak, squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak! (To enter, cross my palms/paws with shiny things and I'll think about it.)

"Squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak? (What do you mean, you haven't any shiny things?!?)

"Squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak. (Alternatively, just read on.)

"Squeak-squeak-squeak-squeak-SQUEAK!" (May the force be with YOU!)

POING! (Bye-eee!)

Jedi often liken the various stages of their development to that of the butterfly. This can be illustrated by the following levels in the jedi order:

Also known as 'eggs' or 'sproutlings'. Children who are too young to be advanced into initiatehood. In the butterfly lifecycle their equivalent is the egg stage. Making sure that the 'eggs' remain well looked after are the Crèche Masters (SEE INSOMNIACS, BOTTOM WIPERS).

Also known as 'grubs' and 'whelps'. The stage before being accepted (hopefully) as a padawan. Just like a butterfly must emerge from a cocoon before spreading its wings and flying, the equivalent stage in the jedi metamorphosis to an initiate is the grub. Most of them are about as appealing. Initiates learn basic skills from which to base their padawanship upon, like basic levitation of small objects and the difference between right and wrong, the goodside and the darkside. Some learn this a little less well than others (SEE VAARN, LERREK, XANATOS and ANAKIN SKYWALKER). Initiates are universally despised by padawans because they remind them of just how awful they used to be at that age. Those who do not become padawans fall back on the skills gleaned as an initiate (SEE FARMERS/SLAVE LABOUR).

Also known as 'rat-tails', the 'braid brigade' and 'doormats'. These are little jedi, those who are beginning their journey towards full jediship. Just like a tradesman might take on an apprentice a jedi master takes on a padawan learner. If all goes well he or she will pass on all the lessons they learned from their masters before them such as lightsabre skills, meditation, frowning (SEE BROW FURROWING, THE ART OF) and bad cooking. (SEE SALADS, GRUEL and THE INFIRMARY). A padawan must sit an assigned final test to see if they are ready to become a knight (SEE FREEDOM, RELAXATION AND WILD PARTIES) and if the council approves the result of the trial they are then at a stage where they can then train a doormat…er, apprentice of their own, thus carrying on the cycle. The butterfly equivalent of a padawan is the cocoon.

KNIGHTS: Knights are fully fledged Jedi who are footloose and fancy free, or shackled to their first padawan. A happy knight is one that has no padawan and nobody to share their rooms with other than the local floozy from Madam Ying's establishment. A miserable knight is one who has a padawan and is in the process of worrying if their apprentice will do all the horrible things that they did to their master when they were that age. The equivalent butterfly stage to the knight is the newly hatched insect, which is completely shagged out and drying its wings so it can start to live its new life.

Also known as 'the boss' or 'he/she who must be obeyed'. Master is the rank that all aspiring initiates should aim to attain. Being a master is a cool thing and has lots of kudos attached to the title. Non-jedi will look up to you/be in awe of you. And if you ever decide to retire from the jedi order you can start up a business as a children's party entertainer using your years of learned force-related tricks. You can basically do what you want. People will love you…unless you fall to the darkside. People will not love you but they will be too scared to say so to your face and you can still do what you want. The fully aviated butterfly is the equivalent of the master, who spends his time experiencing life and twitching his proboscis at the females before:

THE FORCE, BECOMING ONE WITH/PHYSICAL DEATH: Jedi believe that when their physical body or shell dies they become 'one with the force'. This means they become a part of everything, the rocks, the trees, your bath water…think about it the next time you take a shower!

Jedi who still have things to learn inevitably will be forced to be reborn into a physical body (although possibly not as jedi) until they iron out the little things they got wrong the time before. One would assume that Qui-Gon would have to learn not to go around picking up strange little boys with no fathers from backwater planets and claiming they were fulfilling an ancient prophecy made up by a couple of bored jedi several millennia ago when it was raining and they couldn't go out to the local cantina for a glass of their fave ale…