|Say it with Flowers: Buy her a Sarlacc
Padme screeched as the transport lurched, throwing her straight out the side and down into the sandy dunes below. She hit the ground with an oomph; air being knocked out of her body at the sudden, forceful contact of ground against flesh. Badly winded, the senator rolled and rolled…and then for good measure rolled some more.
Anakin yelled her name, but it was to no avail.
"Padme!" He screamed, his voice hoarse with anxiety. The padawan turned, holding onto the support straps for all he was worth, barking an order to the clone commander. "Turn the ship round!"
"Anakin!" Obi-Wan was beyond merely lecturing the young man this time. Why did he never listen??? "Don't be ridiculous! If we capture Dooku we can end this war. We can take him together - I need you!"
"I don't care!" Anakin screeched back, eyes blazing. After all they had gone through there was nobody, not even Obi-Wan, who could order him to brush Padme aside as if of no consequence. "Turn the ship round!"
"You will be expelled from the Jedi order!" Kenobi barked back, desperation tingeing his words.
"I can't leave her!"
Obi-Wan was not about to have his authority undermined this time. For too long he'd put up with Anakin's constant questioning and carping, always hinting that he could make better decisions than his master…that he was quicker, smarter and faster at everything from using a lightsabre to doing the morning crossword puzzle. He'd once challenged him to knit a Nerf's wool sweater in less than two days. Obi-Wan had to admit that Anakin had indeed finished faster than he had, although he'd felt obliged to point out that the garment usually had only two arms instead of three. And also a hole for the neck…
"Come to your senses!" Obi-Wan's eyes narrowed, the wind whipping his hair across his face. "What do you think Padme would do?"
Anakin swallowed. "She would do her duty."
"Precisely. Now don't worry about her. I'm sure she'll be absolutely fine. And you know that I am never wrong about these matters, my extremely young, incredibly annoying padawan learner. A woman who has taken on a Nexu, won back her own planet against the trade federation and battled ferocious, monstrous politicians? Other than the coarse and rough sand getting everywhere what has a smart young lady like Senator Amidala got to worry about?"
Padme continued to roll. She didn't know why, except that it looked more dramatic that way. At first she'd done it in the hope that Anakin would be as gallant as he pretended and jump out to rescue her, but it seemed he was all talk and no action (something the Jedi seemed awfully good at) and had flown off into the distance to pick a fight with Dooku. No good would come of it, she thought with a sigh as she bounced down the sand dunes, for he would only do something stupid like losing an arm or get crushed under a giant pillar. And then where would her plans for a wedding be?
Deciding her artistic efforts at rolling had come to naught with nobody there to witness it Padme allowed herself to come to the bottom of the slope with one final thud…then lay there for a moment. Damn Jedi! Why hadn't Anakin come back? So much for true love! After a few seconds of pretending to be badly hurt for no reason at all Padme attempted to roll to her feet…
Then fell backwards into the giant Sarlacc pit just behind her.
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