Entry Number One: The Gungan City

To the tune of
The Windy City from the musical Calamity Jane.
Lyrics suitably warped by
Jemmiah.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I just flew in from the Gungan City.
The Gungan City is mighty pretty,
But they ain’t got what we’ve got,
No siree!

They’ve got shacks deep within the ocean,
The journey there caused quite a commotion,
And the view might be great but:
It's not for me.

On Naboo it's a zoo;
They've got creatures that they call Kaadu.
Private homes, mounted guards.
For the sake of civic virtue, they’ve got stun prods there that hurt you!

I just flew in from the Gungan City.
The Gungan City is mighty pretty,
But they ain’t got what we’ve got; I’m telling you Mace!
We’ve got more life here in the Council,
Than within their Sacred Place!

In the swamp was a crazy’ feller,
All confused and kinda yeller,
And the things that he said there, went somethin’ like this...

(Everyone laughs while Obi-Wan does an impression of Jar-Jar)

You should have seen when our craft was stoppin’,
He was hoppin’ with eyes a poppin’,
At the sights that we saw there,
Yes siree!

I stayed calm and then my master;
He knocked out that Gungan disaster,
Just as fast as a Gundark,
A climbin’ a tree.

Close your eyes and just wish,
When you need one there's a bigger fish.
Wiring's fried, lights have died,
Gungans panic and they oughta, when the Bongo's filled with water.

I just flew back from the Gungan City.
The Gungan City is mighty pretty,
But they ain’t got what we’ve got; I’m telling you Bant,
I wouldn't swap my time on Naboo ,
With my life on Coruscant!





Entry Number Two: Yesterday

To the tune of Yesterday by The Beatles
Sung from Darth Maul's P.O.V
Lyrics twisted by
Jemmiah

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed so far away,
Now my future’s looking rather grey,
Oh, I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,
I’m not half the man I used to be.
And there’s a Jedi standing over me.
Oh Sith! How I want yesterday.


Why I was too slow,
I don’t know,
I couldn’t say.
I did something wrong,
Now I long for yesterdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

Yesterday,
Hunt the Jedi was a game to play,
Now my torso’s just been sawn away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday…





Entry Number Three: Dead Flowers

To the tune of
Dead Flowers by the Rolling Stones:
Lyrics by
Darth Tim

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


When you're sittin' there
In your Death Star throne room chair
Watchin' as the Rebel ships explode
I hope you don't mind me, and my Jedi progeny
You know I always hate to be alone
I'll toss you down, Master Palpy, toss you down
I know you think you're the baddest Sith Lord around
And you can zap me with Force lightning when I betray ya
Zap him with Force lightning, when he won't turn
Zap me with Force lightnin, when I kill ya
And us ghosts will have a party, when you're gone

When you're sittin' back
Planning out your next attack
Getting ready for that final battle day
I'll be in my meditation room
Plotting out your doom
So I can rule beside my son someday, hey hey
Strike you down, in his anger, strike you down
I know you think you're the baddest Sith Lord around
And you can zap me with Force lightning when I betray ya
Zap him with Force lightning, when he won't turn
Zap me with Force lightning, when I kill ya
And us ghosts will have a party when you're gone

Throw you down, Master Palpy, throw you down...etc.






Entry Number Four: Living In The Maw

To The Tune of
Living On A Prayer by Bon Jovi
Lyrics by
Sebulba2179

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A long time ago, in a galaxy far away...

Tarkin used to work on Kuat
Rebels made a strike, he's down on his luck
It's tough, so tough
Daala builds destroyers all day
Working for her man, she makes Tarkin pay
For love, for love
She says, "We gotta hold on to Lemelisk
It doesn't matter if we lose the Basilisk
We got Qwi Xux, and work is brisk
For love, we'll take up the risk"

Ohhh, we'll break the law
Ohhh, oh, living in the Maw
Take my ship to those holes I saw
Ohhh, oh, living in the Maw

Tarkin's got his Death Star in space
Now he's blowing up what made Leia talk
So tough, it's tough
Daala dreams of running the fleet
When she hits Yavin 4, Tarkin whispers
"Baby, it's your beat, my treat"
We gotta hold on to Lemelisk
It doesn't matter if we lose the Basilisk
We got Qwi Xux, and work is brisk
For love, we'll take up the risk

Ohhh, we'll break the law
Ohhh, oh, living in the Maw
Take my ship to those holes I saw
Ohhh, oh, living in the Maw

Ohhhhhh, we gotta hold on to Maw Cluster
You live to pass Emperor Palpy's muster

Ohhh, we'll break the law
Ohhh, oh, living in the Maw
Take my ship to those holes I saw
Ohhh, oh, living in the Maw...





Entry Number Five:
Corellian Woman

To the tune of
American Woman by The Guess Who
Lyrics by
Sebulba2179

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Corellian woman, get away from me
Corellian woman, mama let me be
Don't come a-hangin' around my ship
I don't wanna see your sensor blip
I got more important things to do
Than spend my time smuggling with you
Now woman, said get away
Corellian woman, listen what I sa-a-a-ay

Corellian woman, get away from me
Corellian woman, mama let me be
Don't come a-knockin' my space-barn door
I don't wanna see your freighter no more
Hyperspace can't hypnotise
Dizzy someone else who flies
Now woman, said get away
Corellian woman, listen what I say

Corellian woman, said get away
Corellian woman, listen what I say
Don't come a-hangin' around Kessel
Don't wanna see your spice vessel
I don't need your war machines
I don't need your Death Star schemes

Hyperspace can't hypnotise
Dizzy someone else who flies
Now woman, get away from me
Corellian woman, mama let me be

No, gotta get away, gotta get away from Tatooine
I'm gonna leave you woman, on Tatooine, woman
Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye
You're no good for me, for my smugglin' trade
Gonna jump into hyperspace, you can watch my thrusters fade
You know I'm gonna leave, you know I'm gonna go
You know I'm gonna leave, you know I'm gonna go, woman

I'm gonna leave you on Tatooine
Goodbye, Corellian woman
Goodbye, Corellian woman...





Entry Number Six: Qui-Gon's song

To the tune of Adam's Song by Blink 182
Lyrics by
Miana Kenobi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I never thought I'd die alone
I thought my Master was made of stone
He got backed up against the wall
But Qui-Gon got cut down by darth maul.

I took my time, I slowed down
now Qui-Gon cannot see the town
the town of Theed, where we're at
where the federation ships have sat

I never angered, I never pained
16 just held such better days
Days when you were still alive
when we couldn't wait to get outside
the universe is wide, time flys by
the war is over
I've survived
Now I wait to fly back home
to spend some time in our room alone

I never though I'd die alone
another 6 months you'll be unknow
I'll take your things to your friends
I'll never set foot in your room again
I'll close it off, board it up
Until the time that I set it up
for Anakin to live in
Please don't take it as a sin

I never angered, I never pained
16 just held such better days
Days when you were still alive
when we couldn't wait to get outside
the universe is wide, time flys by
the war is over
I've survived
Now I wait to fly back home
to spend some time in our room alone

MUSICAL INTERLUDE

I never angered, Never pained
Tomorrow will hold such a better day
A day when I can give up my tithe
And I can't wait to get outside
The universe it wide, the time flew by
the war is over
only I survived
And I can't wait 'til I get home
to remember our times in my room alone.





Entry Number Seven: Poisoning Padawans in the Park

To the tune of
Poisoning Pigeons in the Park by Tom Lehrer
Lyrics by
Jemmiah

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Spring is here,
Yes! Spring is here.
Life is torture
And life is fear.
I think the spring is the loveliest time of the year.
It’s true.
Don’t you?
Course you do.

But there’s one thing that makes it complete for me,
And makes every weekend a treat for me…

All the world is in tune
On this fine afternoon
When we’re poisoning padawans in the park.
There is no greater way
To spend such a nice day
When we’re poisoning padawans in the park.
We’ll murder them all amidst laughter and merriment
Apart from the few we take home to experiment.
In slaughter we’re dealing
What a wonderful feeling
To poison a padawan in the park!

What a lack of propriety
In Coruscant society
Who look down their noses at our games.
They challenge our piety
Our loss of sobriety
And call us a variety
Of unsporting names.
But it isn’t a great stomach churner,
To dispose of a padawan learner…

Every night after tea
My master and me
Will go poisoning padawans in the park.
And maybe we’ll do-in
A master, or two
As we poison the padawans in the park.
When they see us coming
The braid brigade will try and hide
But they still eat Takkini chips
That are coated with Cyanide
It’s my one greatest pleasure
So I spend all my leisure
Just poisoning the padawans-
In line with my masterplans-
Yes, poisoning padawans in the park!


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