LTP14

*****

I am NOT leaving him there. I am NOT! If I so much as turn my back he ends up getting near hacked to death. He can’t take a shower without fate giving him double pleurisy. If he so much as looks at the sky to admire the clouds, you can be sure a big bolt of lightening is waiting to get him. The whole galaxy has an invisible grudge against Ben Kenobi, and he want’s me to play hide-and-seek whilst something nasty makes claims on his body?

Jemmiah frowned as she waited in the transport. It was full of wide eyed, crying kids. Some of them were ill. Some of them were clinging to her as if she were their only hope of salvation. The temptation to disobey Obi-Wan and leave the kids to it was almost overpowering.

But she just couldn’t do it.

She was nearly as scared as they were, but not for herself. For Ben. For Master Jinn. For Yoda and Simeon and Kylenn…heck, even Jay Abran. She wished she was force sensitive, like all the others, so that she could touch their minds and reassure herself that they were safe. A small prayer seemed to form itself in her mind, begging for everyone’s safety.

Force, I’ll never make fun of Master Jinn again, she thought.

A laughing voice formed in her mind. "Don’t make promises you can’t keep."

It made her smile inspite of herself. Well, if she HAD to stay here, she may as well do something useful.

"Who wants to hear about the time Master Jinn and Master Windu slid down the banister in the temple?" she asked the initiates.

**********

Yoda was smiling.

Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or not. He looked as if he were forming some kind of dastardly plan, then again it could be that his face had frozen in that particular expression. Usually, having an eight hundred-year-old Jedi Master with you in a time of crisis was a considerable comfort, but now Obi-Wan looked upon Yoda as if he were as much use as a giant boulder.

No, Kenobi thought. That was not fair. He had to believe in Master Yoda, and the force.

As if Yoda was reading his thoughts, Obi-Wan caught the glint in the masters’ eye, and this time he KNEW that Yoda was smiling after all.

**************************************************************************************

"Right." An-Paj crossed his arms. "I demand to know what is going on!"
"Where’s Master Qui-Gon?" Bai looked frantically. "I saw him…in my mind. Right here on this spot!"
"So did I!" Jay Abran was shaking. "Maybe it’s got him."
"If anything like that had happened to Master Jinn, we would have felt it." An-Paj was adamant. "Something funny’s going on here. My mind is being plagued with confusing pictures. It’s not even real."
"It was very real to me!" Jay Abran deactivated his lightsabre.
"Your mind can play tricks on you. It’s all a matter of perception." An-Paj replied. "Sometimes the nastiest looking wounds are infact the easiest to heal. I say the whole thing is a waste of time."

"But An-Paj, sir, what about that terrible roar!" Bai trembled.
"It’s all an illusion." The healer decided.
"Then what’s that!" Squawked Abran, pointing at a towering, red-gold colored Krayt Dragon some twenty yards away.
"Ignore it." An-Paj said simply, walking towards it. "It doesn’t exist." He stopped as he got within feet of the creature. "Good morning, Mr. Krayt Dragon. As illusions go you’re really very impressive."

He walked towards and then right through the object of the padawans’ terror.

It disappeared.

The two young men stared agog. "It’s not there." Abran stated.
"You’re a very observant young man." An-Paj smiled. "I think we could make a healer out of you. Hells teeth, if Simeon can become a healer, anyone can."
"But, sir. How did you know?" Gasped Bai in astonishment.
"Instinct. You need a lot of that when you have to rely on your wits to put Kenobi back together again every few weeks. And believe me, my instincts are finely honed as a result."
"It could have been real!" Insisted the shaken Jay Abran. "It could have killed all of us! Why didn’t you explain?"
"In my experience it is always better to do first and question later."
"And if you were wrong?" the padawan demanded.
"Then neither of us would be around long enough to find out!" He smiled "Let’s get back to the others." He wanted to find out where the source of the illusions was.

And he had a sneaking suspicion that he knew the answer…

**************************************************************************************

"I can’t see anything." Kylenn looked at Simeon.
" Neither can I."
"That’s because your eyes are shut." She hissed.
"As a healer, I have learned to look after my eyes. I don’t wish to abuse them in any way, or wear them out unnecessarily."
"You mean your too much of a cowardly Nerf to open them incase you see something you don’t like!"
"That’s it exactly." Cates replied as she dragged him along.

"I don’t know how you ever got picked to be a healer." She muttered. "What did An-Paj ever see in your potential?"
"I’m a good guy!" Simeon protested.
"And good guys go around getting people drunk, not to mention their girlfriends." Kylenn criticized.
"I never forced either of them to have a drink." Simeon sniffed. "I’m surprised at Jemmiah, though. Seeing as how she’s…you know."
"What?" She frowned.
"Er…what’s the correct term. Up the stick?"

"What did you say?" Kylenn looked shocked.
"Breeding. Expecting a happy event. In an interesting condition. Preggers."
"Thank you. I got the idea." She said weakly. She thought about it. "Sith. Whose is it?"

Simeon looked confused.

"Is it Obi-Wans’ or Master Jinn’s’?"
"Master Jinn’s!" Simeon was aghast. "What are you suggesting? No. On second thoughts, I don’t want to consider what you’re suggesting. That’s disgusting."
"I hope she’s OK. That snake thing half crushed her to death! And it’ll be all my fault!" Kylenn’s’ mind was working overtime.
"Oh, well." Simeon shrugged, eyes still closed.
"Is that all you can say?" She spat at him.
"I’m sorry. I’m still trying to get over the idea of Qui-Gon and Jemmiah playing mommies and daddies."

Actually, Kylenn had a problem with that, too. She looked up, and then stopped.

Simeon ran right into the back of her.

"What is it?" He asked, not opening his eyes.
"It’s…it’s…a…THING."
"A thing. What sort of thing?"
"A BIG THING." She whispered.
"Right. Is it a big thing with lots and lots of sharp teeth."
"Y-yes." Kylenn swallowed.
"OK." Simeon replied.
"What do we do?"
"Sit down and close our eyes. If we don’t bother it, it might not bother us."
"Are you mad?"
"Do you want to try and out run it?"
"No."
"Right. Ignore it." He pulled her down onto the ground. "Don’t look at it and it’ll get bored."

There had to be logic in his madness somewhere, she thought, but she just couldn’t see it.

**************************************************************************************

"Master Yoda?"

No answer.

"Oh, sorry. You can’t say anything, can you." He gulped as he remembered that it was his fault that the Jedi couldn’t move a muscle. " I think that creature’s on the move."

Obi-Wan reached out to try and sense where the creature was. Not where it had been before, certainly. Hi s legs were beginning to bother him, and he almost wished he were back at the temple, with the healers. At least there he could always defend himself with a bedpan. If the creature attacked, he wouldn’t even have that.

Oh, master, he thought. I hope you are OK. I really wish you were back here. I don’t have your skills or your knowledge as yet. If this thing attacks us, I think An-Paj will have a problem sifting through the severed limbs to decide what gets sewn back onto what. And if this creature doesn’t get us, Jemmiah almost certainly will! I said some really, really stupid things to her, master, and now she’s as mad as Sith! I can’t see her wanting to visit me in my hospital bed somehow.

A scream interrupted Obi-Wans’ communication with his master. A high pitched, terrified scream from someone small and very, very scared.

Isadora Lucey, thought Obi-Wan.

The initiates! It was attacking the transport! And that meant it was also attacking…

"Jemmiah!" He yelled.

He sat up without thinking and screamed in agony as the pain coursed through his injured body. He was in no position to help anyone. What could he do? Think, Kenobi, he urged.

His master. What would his master do?

Subconsciously calling upon Qui-Gon for assistance, he heard one of his many favorite sayings pop into his head.

There’s always a bigger fish.

Obi-Wan mentally rolled up his sleeves, and drew on the force.

**********

"Jemmiah?" asked Sabra-Ni with her tiny, upturned face and large, solemn eyes staring at the Corellian girl.
"Hmm?" Jemmy answered in a flat tone.
"If you get married, can I come to your wedding?"

Sith! That was one thing Jemmiah did NOT want to think about right now. The prospect of having to marry that idiotic cousin hung over her head like an invisible axe waiting to fall. The only good thing to come from the whole zoo fiasco was that she had been able to forget her predicament for a little while.

She prayed Qui-Gon would make good his promise to help her.

"I’m hoping it won’t come to that, sweetheart." She ruffled the dark girls’ hair absently.
"But why not?" She seemed disappointed. "Don’t you want to marry padawan Kenobi?"

Jemmiahs’ eyes opened very wide.

"Marry Obi-Wan? Where did that come from? We’ve never even discussed it." She frowned. The kid must have seen them together and assumed, like all young kids do, that was the way things were heading.

"But I’m sure he’ll want to marry you." She insisted.

Isadora snorted in the background.

"That’s very nice of you to say, kid." Jemmiah smiled a faint smile.
"And when you have a baby we’ll be able to see it at the crèche."

A WHAT!

"That won’t be for some time." Jemmiah said with conviction. Kids made her nervous. The fact she’d spent so much of today with a Sith load if them had done nothing to change her mind.
"Oh. Don’t you like babies?" Sabra-Ni asked innocently.
"Not really, no. They smell and they throw up all over you. And before you know it, you’re speaking baby talk." She rolled her eyes. "Forgive me, but Goo-Goo-Goo is not my idea of a stimulating conversation."
The little girl placed a reassuring hand on her arm. "Don’t worry," she said seriously, "I’m sure you’ll get used to it."

Jemmiah screwed up her face. This was weird.

"What names would you pick for a girl?" Kelda Rosset asked, trying to get into the conversation.

Jemmiah blinked. What an odd question!

"I dunno," she shrugged disinterestedly, "something instantly recognizable." She grinned, thinking of all the really horrible names she could inflict on a child of her own.

Oh, the power!

"Somethin’ sickly. Cup-cake, or Butterscotch." She laughed. "Could you imagine that! Butterscotch Kenobi!"

She was beginning to enjoy this game of make believe.

"Candyfloss!" suggested Toms, with a silly grin on his face.
"What, in honor of today?" She crossed her arms, thinking. "Treacle pudding!"
"Takkini chip" giggled Kelda.
"Yeah, that’s a good one." Jemmiah smirked. "That’s a real blast."

She thought for a moment. "How about Butterscotch-Cup-cake-Candyfloss-Treacle pudding-Takkini chip Kenobi!" Jemmiah was bent double with laughter. "Got a certain something, don’t you think?"
"What would you pick for a boy?" The Wookie wanted to know.
"Oh, that’s easy!" Jemmiah nodded. "I’d call it after Master Windu. Mace-The–Mighty-Murrit-Tamer!"
"You can’t have that!" Isadora sulked. "That’s daft."
"Well…how about Qui-Wan!" She snickered. "Or my personal fave: Obi-Gon. Get it?" She looked at the puzzled children. "Then I’d be able to say to the kid: OH, BE GONE!"

"Obi-Gon Kenobi!" Toms wiped his nose on his sleeve, reminding Jemmiah pointedly why she never wanted to have children, "I like that."

"What does your name mean?" Sabra-Ni asked, settling into Jemmiahs’ lap, a move that left the teenager more than a little apprehensive. She remembered only too well Qui-Gon’s’ tales of this ones’ bladder problems.
"Careful of my ribs, if you please. They’ve been through a lot today."
"Sorry."
"In answer to your question, my name means "Fire Storm" in ancient Corellian. Only you say it phonetically."
"What?" Sabra-Ni asked.
"How it sounds, not how it’s spelled. J’ MY-AAH."
"Oh."
" There’s an old Corellian tale regarding a young lady who shared her name with my good self. She lived in a palace. She was a courtesan."
"A what?"
"She…er…it was her job to make the King happy." Jemmiah swallowed, remembering who her audience was.
"You mean telling jokes and stuff?" Kelda asked.
"Yeah. And stuff would be closer. Nevermind."
"What happened to her?" Sabra-Ni asked.
"Well, it wasn’t very nice." Admitted Jemmy.
"Really?" Isadora became interested.
"The Queen got real jealous, because she was so popular with everyone else, and in particular with her young baby Prince, so she tried to kill her."
"That’s not very nice."
"Not really." Jemmy continued. "She tried everything to get rid of her, but nothing worked. Then the King died suddenly and there wasn’t any reason for her to…make anyone smile anymore." She grinned.
"Then what?"
"The Queen took command of the realm because her son was too little to rule by himself. She was so mad that she had this Jemmiah staked out in the sun so that she’d die and the carrion birds would eat her."
"And what happened?" Kelda asked, engrossed.
Jemmiah looked surprised. "I told you. She died. It’s not all happy endings you know."

Sabra-Ni looked like she was going to burst into tears.

"Wait, I missed a bit out." Jemmy said hurriedly. "Before she died, the Gods rewarded her for her protection of the little Prince and they turned her spirit into a Falcon. And she sat and watched over the Prince and made sure the Queen wasn't nasty, or anything. And she pecked the Queens’ eyes out for good measure, so she wouldn’t be able to see her son grow up."
"Y-E-S!" Exclaimed Toms. "That tale’s wicked."

Jemmiah blew out a deep breath.

I wish I were a Falcon, she thought. I’d be high tailing it out of here as fast as my feathers would allow me…

"What’s that noise?" Isadora interrupted her thoughts.
"Huh? What noise?" Jemmiah frowned, straining her ears. They sat in a huddle, listening, only hearing the sound of the wind gently stirring through the gash in the transport.

Nothing.

"You sure your ears aren’t playing tricks on you?" Jemmy frowned.
"YES!" Hissed Isadora Lucey angrily.
"OK, OK kid. Don’t get shirty. Humor me. I don’t have this force stuff, remember? I’m just a plain old average humanoid who can’t do weird things just by waving my hand. Mind you, I could name some Jedi who I could say the same about."

"Jemmiah, I’m scared." Whimpered Sabra-Ni.
"There’s nothing to be scared of." Jemmiah tried to convince herself as much as anyone else.

There was a very loud roar from outside the transport.

"Well, guess what. I was wrong. Again." She said dryly. "Get your safety harnesses on, kids!"
"W-what is it?" Stammered Isadora.
"Why don’t you go and find out for us?" Jemmiah retorted sarcastically. "Strap in!"

The next roar was virtually on top of them.

"Sith!" Jemmiah yelled. "A quiet day at the zoo, Ben said. I want my money back!"

**************************************************************************************

"Has it gone?" Simeon asked, daring to open one lid ever so slightly.

Kylenn was shaking.

"I said, has it gone?" Cates repeated. "Come on, the suspense is killing me!"
"I wish you hadn’t said that." His companion said fearfully.
"Have a look."
"YOU have a look. I don’t have a monopoly in the vision stakes."
"I’m a cowardly Nerf, remember?" Simeon replied.
"I’m just as scared as you!" said Kylenn.
"No you’re not!"
"OK. I’m not."

Pause.

"That wasn’t nice." Simeon replied, stung.
"If you’re so courageous, how come you haven’t asked out Dimallie, when everyone can see you’re besotted with her?"
"I am NOT besotted with Dimallie. She’s got Candyfloss in her skull."
"That’s how you like your women." Kylenn retorted. "Fluffy and brainless."
"What about you and Jay Abran." Cates challenged.
"There’s nothing between me and Jay!"
"You’d like there to be, though. Wouldn’t you?"
"JUST SHUT UP AND SEE IF THE DAMN THING’S STILL THERE!" Kylenn had to stop herself from screaming.

Simeon opened one eye fully, then the other one.

"D’you want the good news or the bad news?" He replied.
"Surprise me." Trembled Kylenn.
"The good news," Cates surveyed the area, "Is that it has disappeared."

She stood up, eyes open. She did a complete turn, searching for sign of the beast.

"It’s gone!" She whooped, throwing her arms round Simeon in delight. "It worked! You are a genius!"
"Careful," he smiled at her, "I like my women fluffy and brainless, remember"
"You know, sometimes you can be quite sweet." She grinned.
"Is that right?"
"So, what’s the bad news?" Kylenn dared.
"The bad news is, I’m going back to tell Jay Abran you’ve got the hots for him." Simeon laughed, and began to run away from her as quickly as he could.

"SIMEON!" She screamed as she ran after him.

***********

"Master Yoda, are you ready?" Kenobi grimaced.
<Ready I am, padawan>
"After three, then… One, two, THREE!"

***********

Jemmiah sat strapped in her seat. Terrified. She didn’t see a way of any of them coming out of this alive. It had solved her marriage problems, though not in a way she felt gave a satisfactory solution for everyone involved. Through the gash in the roof, she saw what appeared to be a very large eye staring down at her and the group of children.

It roared again. This time, the noise of the initiates screaming was louder than the creature.

"Listen kids," Jemmiah yelled to make herself heard, "we’ve got one chance. You’re all good at this force thing. Join hands and picture some kind of barrier. Try and push it away. CAN YOU DO THAT?" She shouted hoarsely.

Some of the kids nodded, others just mutely took each other’s hands.

Looks like a seance, Jemmiah thought desperately.

If the kids couldn’t do their stuff with the force, they’d all get a chance to see what was on the other side real soon…

**********

"Mater Yoda! NOW!"
<Patience, padawan> Yoda harrumphed in Obi-Wan’s mind.
"Patience? It’s trying to get into the transport! Jemmiah and the initiates…
<Safe, they are. For the moment>
"But…"
<Calm, Obi-Wan. Be calm. Concentrate. >

Calm, he says, thought Obi-Wan. Easy for him to say. It wasn’t his girlfriend that was about to get devoured by a monster sized Krayt Dragon.

Somehow, he forced himself to relax.

His subconscious took over. It was like he was no longer there in the zoo: Master Yoda had disappeared. The screaming initiates were gone; even Jemmiah’s predicament was temporarily banished from the reaches of his mind. He was back in the "Hell’s Chance" Cantina. They were playing really silly games to help them unwind. Jay Abran was force juggling opened bottles of Corellian Scrumpi. Simeon Cates and Jodi Mullicar were singing some off-key rendition of the classic song "Summer Knights." Jemmiah was explaining her latest money making scam to enable her to buy that swoop she’d been eyeing up. And he was doing what he did better than everyone else.

Impressions.

His impersonations of people and creatures were legendary around the temple. It had come in handy on many an occasion. Like the time he’ transmitted a call to Evla’s apartment and pretended to be Qui-Gon inviting Jemmiah to stay over. It had been a joke and Obi-Wan had been really surprised when it had worked.

He’d been found out later, of course.

Rancours, Nargots, Farfalaks; he could vocally reproduce them all with incredible accuracy. His talent for mimicry was endless. Draigons and Flipperphants, too.

And Krayt Dragons.

He calmed himself down and cleared his mind. His heartbeat slowed down further, and then further still. What he needed to do was find that bigger fish that Qui-Gon was so fond of talking about. Bigger than a Krayt Dragon.

A Kulbarak.

Obi-Wan thought of this object of terror and gave it his best shot, projecting the most fearful reptilian screams in the direction of the wrecked transport. A long keening wail interspersed with short, fierce growls. He didn’t know how long he could keep it up for.

He just hoped Yoda was playing his part.