***** Krelo leaned back in her chair at the bar and listened to the stream of tripe that was flowing out of Mace's mouth. She leaned over to Lilith and whispered in her ear. "If half of what is written on that flimsy was true, An would have been ghosted by now." She snorted rudely and took another sip of her drink. "Never get sick or hurt when you're at the academy. He'll shove the worst tasting concoctions down your throat and grin like a well fed cat." Lilith made a disgusted face, which quickly turned to amusement as Cates revealed the true author of the report. "Oh, he's never gonna live this one down." "Probably a good thing only Griff and I know you well enough to fill out one of those things, lady." "Not that anyone would really be able to accurately go on about you, either. From what you've told me, you spent very little time in the temple." "Yah, my . . . " She took a sharp breath and let it out slowly. "My master and I didn't spend much time anywhere. We were constantly on the move." Both the women's attention was drawn to Ambianca's chittering laughter. Oh, Krelo thought, a merciless smile playing at the corners of her full lips, you'll get yours, alright. You two will most definitely get yours. Lilith nudged Krelo with her elbow and gestured at The Hag and her Familiar, mischief glinting in her muddy green eyes. She looked at her friend and recognized the same glint in Kre's eyes and giggled evilly. ****** "Simeon." Rela beckoned the young man to stand up. "Who have you got?" Cates looked down at the sheet. Then up at the assembly. "Garos Hmiol." He said in a thunderous tone, as if passing sentence rather than announcing a name. So what if he hadn't been granted the chance to mouth off at Mr. Dull? This was almost as good. "Can I start?" He said in a chirpy voice that Garos did not think bode well at all. "Please do." Qui-Gon smiled. "Any annoying habits: It's very difficult to tell. He keeps himself to himself a lot and from what I do know of him that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Assessing this fellow is very tricky, and that in itself is highly annoying. He also stares a lot from under his brows, which leaves you wondering if he's in love with you or he wants to murder you in your bed. Either is a fairly ghastly prospect." "That's a bit unfair." Biwo shrugged. "Oh, well. I'm sure you'll get over it, padawan." "Thanks." Hmiol moped. "Anything I like about this person: Occasionally I will stop and say hello to Garos. Occasionally I will get a grunt in response. I like it when I know I've made a major breakthrough. A week ago he actually grunted twice at me and I nearly died of shock. What he was saying I couldn't quite make out, but I think it might have been 'hello' and 'whatever'. Still, it felt like a major success to me! As such I've nominated myself for a communications award." Flint growled. "What's she saying?" Mace wondered. "She wants to know who wrote these terrible things about her little tree mouse so she can sit on him/her!" Jemmiah explained. "Anything I don't like about this person: Hmmm. I get the feeling there's more going on in that head of his than he likes to let on. It certainly doesn't show, but that makes him a very slippery customer. And he destroyed the cantina before I could finish my last drink, so he owes me a round at least. Cough up, Hmiol!" Hmiol glared at nobody in particular. "Helpful advice: He seems a dab hand at pyrotechnics. Perhaps this is a line he could pursue if the council kicks him out for being drunk and disorderly. Other possible careers might include a bar tender or a fire attendant…" The laughter grew much to Hmiol's dismay. "Has this person ever done anything helpful or kind: He once took a party of crèche children for a walk in the garden. When they came back they were ready for bed. Mr. Personality had sent them to sleep…that's a very rare talent. I suggest this boy should be given crèche duty more frequently." Hmiol dug his nails into his hands. "Anything unhelpful or unkind: I believe some of the padawans wanted to enter Hmiol in the Coruscant National talent show: 'Search for a superstar'. He turned them down. That wasn't very kind. I know for a fact that his impression of inanimate objects is beyond comparison in the galaxy." "Give us your hat stand, Garos!" Zac laughed. "Would you trust this person to watch your back in an emergency: Yes. He can bore the enemy at 100 paces." "I like that one." Jemmy poked Obi-Wan in the stomach. "Sum up in under 100 words: Garos Hmiol is a blur. An illusive shadow. You can't pin him down and you probably wouldn't want to. He puts the 'not' in monotony, and the yawn in…well, yawn! I am rendered almost as speechless as he is by his outstanding dullness. He is without doubt the king of boring, and yet frustratingly enough there are a few tiny signs of life peeking through the carbonite façade he likes to hide behind. One of these days he will say more than five words together. Then the temple will declare a national Hmiol day. Heralded by massive firework displays and the ritual burning down of the temple." ***** The table erupted in gales of laughter. Simeon sat down and leaned back in his chair with a triumphant smirk. Garos rounded forward in a dejected hunch as his Master gave him a reassuring pat on the back. Rela glanced over at Obi-Wan, "Hey Scrub Brush, looks like you've picked up a Corellian sand barnacle!" Kylenn had passed out again and was snoozing quietly on Obi-Wan's shoulder. Kenobi looked over and grinned, "Yeah, the poor girl conked out right after we handed our flimsies over. She's O.K. where she is as long as she doesn't drool." As if on cue, a shiny ball of spittle formed on her lower lip and threatened to drop on Kenobi's tunic. His eyes widened in horror, "Uh, could somebody wake her up before-" *drip* "Ewwww!" Smiling, Jay got up from his seat and moved around to where the sand barnacle and her now-regretful host were sitting. He pulled her up from Obi-Wan's shoulder and gave her a gentle nudge, "O.K. drooly, it's wakey-wakey time." "Huh?" She looked around with her eyes half-focused, "I don't have anythhhhing in my pockets except-" A number of the Jedi chuckled. Abran corrected, "we're not playing that game anymore. The sheets, remember?" "And in your case," Mace added, "the table." He pointed to where Kylenn had scrawled off the flimsy. More chuckles. "Can we hurry this up?" interjected Ambianca. Sal-Fina nodded in agreement. "Who's next?" Not paying attention to the last bits of information, Kylenn felt around the pouch in her cloak. "Uh, just one question. Has anyone seen my navel ring?" ***** "Dex, it's your turn. Do you worst." Rela grinned. The Corellian stood and banged the flimsy sheet against the table a couple of times for effect. "And the winner is…Jemmiah!" He smiled sweetly. "Lucky girl. She gets me to narrate her personal attributes." "Get on with it, Dex." Sighed Qui-Gon. He was dreading what he might hear about her. Dex's grin was reminiscent of a hungry cannoid. "Annoying habits: She hasn't been seen topless sunbathing on her balcony for a while. I find that EXTREMELY annoying. It used to be the highlight of my day, and quite a few others I could mention." Jemmy looked astonished. "What is this, the great Jedi peep-show?" She chewed her lip. "I didn't realize I had an audience." "What's this?" Qui-Gon was shocked. "There's no harm in it." Jemmy said defensively. "I'm not ashamed of my body." "I think we've already established that." Jay smirked. "Ok. Enough everyone." Obi-Wan frowned. Zac and Jodi just laughed. "Anything I like about this person: I really like those short dresses with the low cut neckline that she wears. I especially like it when she bends over to pick something up. She thinks that the padawans (and some of the masters) are extremely clumsy: this isn't true. We just like to drop things on the floor to see if she'll pick it up and give us a bit of a show. Obi-Wan, you are a lucky little…" Dex squinted at the line. "I'm censoring that last word because it's incredibly rude and not for the ears of people over the age of forty." Obi-Wan was clearly getting more and more possessive. He started to squirm agitatedly around in his seat. "Do you need to go to the fresher again?" Jemmy whispered. "Things I don't like about this person: Not enough topless bathing (see answer 1). She's extremely distracting to be in a packed turbo lift with. She doesn't bend over enough (see answer 2). Her nails are too long…" "Eh?" Frowned Obi-Wan. "I don't get it?" "I'm sure you will." Zac said sweetly. "In good time." Jemmy shot him a look that turned him a very nasty shade of red. "Helpful advice: Lots of sun cream. Tighter dresses. Or no dresses at all. A metal bikini would be nice, with those dangly bits of silk hanging down the front…excuse me whilst I take a drink to steady my nerves." "I know who wrote this and they are in a lot of trouble." Jemmy snorted. "Has this person ever done anything helpful or kind: Yes. But I'm too much of a gentleman to say." "What does that mean?" Obi-Wan looked suspiciously at her. "I'd like to know as well." Qui-Gon remarked. "So would we!" Simeon grinned. "Shut up, Cates." Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan said together. "Has this person ever done anything unfriendly or unkind: She wouldn't wear the nurses' uniform at the fancy dress party. I am devastated. It was really short as well. There goes another dream, I s'pose…" "Would you trust this person to watch your back in a crisis: Yeah, if she got her nails cut. But frankly I'd sooner watch her back. Preferably in that metal bikini I was talking about." "You are a very sick person and will shortly be extremely dead." Jemmiah warned. "Sum up in under 100 words: Hmmm! Where do I begin? I know where I'd like to, he-he! Jemmiah is not only the prettiest girl in the temple but she has a brain on her as well. This is a great pity as this has stopped me from getting anywhere near her again since the fancy dress party. Oh, well. I just hope we see more of her round the temple, if you get my meaning! Overall I think that she is a cracking bit of stuff!" Jemmiah took that in. "I don't know whether to be flattered or annoyed." She said. One look at Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's faces told her they had clearly opted for the second choice. "What did you go as in the fancy dress party?" Abran asked. "I was the fairy princess. You sat on my wand, remember?" "Oh, yes." He smiled. "Sure as heck beats being the back end of a Nerf." An-Paj sighed. Leona looked at him in horror. "You were the Nerf?" She asked. "Yes." "But didn't I…?" She bit off quickly. An-Pal grinned. "So it was your hand." "What's this?" Mace wondered. "What hand?" "I was well and truly goosed!" Laughed An-Paj. "I didn't have the faintest idea who by. Leona, eh?" He shook his head. Well, well…who'd have guessed?" "It wasn't like that!" Leona insisted shamefaced. " I hadn't the faintest idea it was you in the suit." "So," An-Paj took that in, "you just like molesting Nerfs in general, is that it?" The crimson tone in the healer's cheeks continued to build. "Healer Territ had been winding me up all day about medical examinations and how thorough I was when it came to…the more technical aspects. He said all the padawans were terrified of me. So Ferdi dared me to give him a taste of his own medicine. She told me he was the back end of the Nerf costume. And so I sneaked up behind…" "Are healers allowed to grope people?" Obi-Wan asked Simeon. "Is that ethical?" "It's never stopped them before." Jemmy winked at Gethin. "So what happened?" Krelo asked. "I was feeling quite satisfied with my professional demonstration when all of a sudden I saw Gethin Territ walking towards me dressed as a Corellian Pirate! That's when I realized I'd just assaulted an innocent man." "Less of the innocent, if you please." An-Paj grinned. "Anyhow, I wasn't in the least bit offended. In truth I rather enjoyed it…" "Moving swiftly on." Rela stood up, moving her fruit cocktail to one side. "I'll read the next one. The individual I have in my hand is Simeon Cates." "Wouldn't care to make that a permanent arrangement, would you?" He begged with his eyes. "Don't break my heart, Frizzy." Rela glanced at him from over the sheet of flimsy. "Frizzy? I think I could like that! At last, I have a nickname!" He beamed. "You have plenty of nicknames. Just ones you normally wouldn't repeat in public." Obi-Wan said dryly. "Any annoying habits: Well, first off I would like to say that nearly everything Simeon does is annoying. He's far too cheery for starters. He thinks that everyone likes him when in reality most people think he is just about the most annoying individual in the temple. His off-key singing sounds worse than someone getting their nails pulled out. He thinks he can drink like a fish, but he can't drink an ice cold citrus without falling on his back. Most of all he likes to talk just for the sake of hearing himself. A lot. Simeon: Please shut up!" "OK," Cates grinned. "They're all fair points." "What do I like about this person: Simeon makes me look very good in comparison. I like to hang around Simeon because it makes all the girls realize what a better deal they've got in me. He's also extremely generous with his money and is a soft touch for a sob story. Simeon, my best friend, you are a diamond. I love you very much, man…lend us 3000 credits?" "Not on your life." Simeon sniffed. "Anything I dislike about this person: I can't stand his name. It's a damned silly name anyhow. I mean, it's obviously s'posed to be SIMON but he just puts an 'E' in it to be pretentious. What kind of a name is SIM-EEEEEEEE-ON, huh? Sounds like a braying Nargot if you ask me. Another thing: the toes. Funny the first time, mildly amusing the second and horrendously boring the three thousandth time. Quit flashing those digits, Cates." "I've got other digits I can flash." Simeon growled. "Especially at equally stupid sounding individuals called Menali-Jay Abran." "Helpful advice: Stop complaining about your non-existent love life. It's not our fault that nobody wants to be seen dead with you. In fact, the corpses in the mortuary are probably your best bet. And worse still, I bet you've already considered it!" "I'll bet YOU have!" Simeon snapped at Jay. "At least with a corpse you wouldn't have to by them a drink!" "Has this person ever done anything helpful or kind: Sometimes he shuts up." "Oh, charming." Cates snorted. "Has this person ever done anything unhelpful or unkind: During an initiates field trip when we were younger he once told me there was a dead rat under my bed. Sure enough there was the most horrific smell from beneath the carpet. It turned out to be a pile of Kenobi's unlaundered socks that he had gathered on purpose to recreate the smell of putrefaction. The memory still lingers in the mind. So does the smell…" "Oh, thanks a lot." Obi-Wan grumbled. "I wondered where my socks disappeared to." "They're probably still there. No way was I picking them up." Jay shook his head. "Would you trust this person to watch your back in an emergency: Not after what I've just said about him, no. "Too darn right." Simeon grumped. "It never pays to upset an assistant healer. Usually their masters are around in the background armed with a piece of sharp surgical equipment…" "Finally," Rela smiled, "Sum up in under 100 words: Simeon is a kind and good-hearted boy. He's a bit of an ass but that's probably genetic. (At least he looks a bit like a Nargot). Unfortunately he is also a healer and therefor a harbinger of pain and suffering. In this respect he is like any other healer: efficient, ruthless and thorough. That's why he's so universally disliked. He should go far in his chosen career. Please make it soon…" As the others laughed, Rela leaned close to Simeon and grinned. "So Cates, which bit resembles a Nargot?" "That would be telling." He said with a flash of white teeth. ***** Lilith snickered nastily and waved her flimsy. "My turn, boys and girls," she purred. Krelo leaned closer to try and peer over the taller woman’s shoulder, but the smuggler firmly elbowed her back into her original position. "No peeking. After all, I’m about to read it out loud." The gesture came too late, though. The redhead had glimpsed enough to recognize the hand writing on the flimsy, even if she hadn’t caught the victim’s name. Krelo decided that it was inevitable. If An-Paj had filled out his own form, odds were good that some one would either get to read their own form or read the one they had filled out. Demodae barely had to glance at the flimsy in order to read what was written there, though she made a great show of making sure she was reading it right. "The one I have in my hand is for . . . Sal-Fina." Krelo could only shake her head. The only way this one could have possibly been more vicious was if it had been Kryztan’s form Lilith had filled out. "Annoying things:" Lilith began almost smugly. "Shall I make a list? Let’s start with that shrill, whining excuse for a voice. Shut up. Somewhere nearby there are canines in severe pain." "My voice-" Sal-Fina began to harp, but was interrupted. "Quiet, I’m reading here," Demodae raised her voice to drown out the other woman’s protests. "Then there’s your constant preening. While you aren’t ready to be sold to the Agri-Corp for use as a scarecrow, you certainly aren’t holomodel material. Get over yourself!" Ambianca stuttered in shock while her master was turning an unbecoming shade of apoplectic purple. Lilith pressed on, undaunted, with an almost gleeful tone. "Things I like: I’m sure there -could- be something to like about you, but I’m not drunk enough to think of any right now." Qui-Gon coughed violently, the result of laughing while swallowing alcohol, and Mace thumped soundly on the back a few times to help him out. "Things I don’t like: your hypocrisy, your overbloated ego, your pathetic attempts to make yourself look better at the expense of others-" "You didn’t write that one, did you?" Mace asked Qui-Gon in a hushed whisper. "Nope, but it sounds dead on. Must be one of the other masters." "- your affectations of stardom, your delusions of adequacy, and most of all, our continual besmirching of the title Jedi by all the aforementioned faults." If it were possible, smoke would have been pouring out of Sal-Fina’s ears. As it was, she was just about ready to leap up from her chair and draw her lightsabre to silence the obviously jealous tirade. Lilith raised a bleached eyebrow at her. "Don’t blame me. I’m only the messenger." She continued with her reading. "Kind things: I must admit that it was a kindness to many people when you took Ambianca as your student, preventing any other master from being saddled with such a snivelling, uppity, shallow, fluff-brained, lack-witted, spiteful wench." Both master and apprentice looked ready to turn Sith the moment they discovered who had written such things about them. "Mean things:" Lilith continued ignoring the hostile looks being cast her way. This was a whole lot more fun than she had anticipated it being. "Just about every move you’ve made tonight has been a calculated attempt to humiliate, embarrass, or denigrate someone else." Lilith pretended to peer at the flimsy to check carefully what had been written there. "The last two have been combined. Advice and summation: Take a good look in the mirror, and not just to check if your anti-wrinkle cream is working. You have a personality that a Hutt would be envious of. If that doesn’t bother you, do us a favor and jump from the Temple roof. If it does, start fixing it and then go to work on your stupid git of an apprentice." Both Sal-Fina and Ambianca were gasping in outrage, but most everyone else was wiping laughter tears from their eyes. Many people had waited a long time to see someone tell those two just that, and if they ever found out who had done it, they were more than willing to buy that person a few rounds. ***** Leona waited for silence and then took her place. She wasn't exactly sure how this would go down. But she was in no doubt of the author in question. "The subject is Obi-Wan Kenobi." She said in a firm but pleasant voice. That is the voice of doom if ever I heard it, thought Obi-Wan. The tone of someone who is delivering bad news… "Don't look so nervous Ben." Jemmiah smiled at him. "I've already taken my turn and I know far more incriminating things about you than anyone else present." "That does not reassure me." The padawan mumbled. "Go on then Leona. Let me have it. Tell me the worst. Will my ego need major surgery after you've finished with me?" Leona shook her head in amusement. "Why don't we see? Habits: He bites his nails when he thinks nobody is looking. I used to think it was nerves of some description but then I discovered he just couldn't be bothered to cut his nails with the scissors from the manicure set. I don't believe he does this with his toes, which is not surprising. Obi-Wan's feet have been known on hot days to kill off the force. We are writing papers on this phenomenon known as "Kenobi's Law." "That is not fair!" Obi-Wan yelped. "I think this could be an interesting case to study." An-Paj said with a chuckle. "It might be a medical problem. We can check him over whilst we're healing his wrists!" "I'll be too busy slitting them." Kenobi moped. "Go on. What's next?" "Anything you like about this person: His stumpy little ponytail at the back. I'm afraid it's very difficult to keep a straight face whenever he turns his head away. I remember when he first started to grow it. I laughed for weeks solid. Actually I'm still laughing now. " "What's wrong with it?" Obi-Wan turned his head slightly to one side. "Master? Do you see anything wrong wit it?" All he heard was a thin, rasping snicker from Qui-Gon. "Thanks master. Remind me to stick up for you one day." Obi-Wan felt deflated. "Anything I dislike: Has to be those socks. I hate to think what state his feet must be in. If anyone's not had the privilege of experiencing this at close quarters, let me explain. If you've ever left Nerf's cheese in the back of the refrigeration unit for over three weeks this is half way to what it's like to become aquatinted with padawan Kenobi's socks. He was given a sock basket to store them in prior to being washed but they rebelled in an effort to escape from the confines of the bin and were last seen heading for freedom towards a Spaceport on Korrassi." "Hey, they've got you sussed, sweetheart!" Jemmy tickled him with her fingers. "Helpful advice: Don't grow a beard." "Why not?" Obi-Wan demanded. "Jemmy?" "Because your last attempt was lamentable." She replied truthfully. "You looked like a hobo. When you fell asleep on that bench with your robe over you, people thought you were a down and out. They even started throwing credits at you so you could get a decent meal!" Obi-Wan snorted. Trust her to remember that! "Has this person ever done anything helpful or kind: He shaved off the aforementioned beard thus saving me from laughing myself into an early reunion with the force." "That's it. When I'm a knight I'm growing a beard." Snapped Obi-Wan. "In that case, when you're a knight you can find yourself a new girlfriend." Jemmy pointed out. "Has this person ever done something unkind or unhelpful: he once fed laughing gas into the council chamber through the ventilation system. I've never seen a more successful council meeting. Unfortunately it wore off very quickly and all the council members were back to their usual miserable selves all too soon. Couldn't you have given them a little more, Obi-Wan?" "So it was you, was it?" Mace actually smiled. "I never thought I'd see the day when one of your tricks would make me laugh. I still remember Yoda. He was tee-heeing for hours. I never thought we'd get him down from the ceiling…" "Would you trust this person to watch your back in a dangerous situation: Implicitly. I just blackmail him with food, anyhow. The way to a padawan's heart is through his stomach." "Or through a stomach pump!" Simeon chimed in. Qui-Gon glared. "Sum up this person in under 100 words: Obi-Wan is very dear to me, even when he raids the refrigerator at midnight for a bout of illicit snacking. Even when he breaks out in that rather disturbing looking rash. Even when he opens my wine and proceeds to get a ten-year-old girl hopelessly drunk. Even when his snoring reminds me of somebody felling a tree with a hand saw, or when he gets caught in a state of undress in a turbo lift. I am honored to be his master. Not so, I lie!" "Thanks master." Obi-Wan grimaced. "Sorry padawan. Couldn't resist that one." Qui-Gon grinned. ***** "Me next." Jemmiah picked up the face down flimsy sheet and turned it over in her hands. Her eyes lit up at the sight of the name before her. "And it's…Qui-Gon Jinn, no less!" Sal-Fina paused in the middle of her latest rant to her padawan about the upstart who had so vilified her infront of all the others. "This ought to be good." She snapped. Jemmiah smirked. "But not as good as yours! Anyhow, I digress. Question one - Any annoying habits: His answer to every problem in the galaxy is to meditate. I know for a fact that the individual in question once attended a trip as a padawan to an agricultural world. Whilst working in a field some of the Jurabi cattle got loose and the padawans were told to find some way of rounding them up. Qui-Gon apparently decided that the best course of action was to kneel down in the field and meditate in the hope that an answer would come to him. All the cattle were stampeding all around him and Jinn just sat there whilst the rest of us bust a gut to recapture them." "So from my point of view I made the right decision." Grinned Qui-Gon. "Lazy mongrel." Mace muttered. "I doubt you saw it that way after Yoda finished with you. How many barns did he make you muck out as punishment for shirking your work?" Dex asked. "Next up," Jemmiah chipped in before a heated debate ensued, "Anything you like about this person: His determination to defeat the odds at all costs, I mean how anyone can survive Yoda as a master is beyond me. He must have done something terrible in a previous existence to have been saddled with not only Yoda but Obi-Wan and Jemmiah…like blown up a couple of planets or something." Jemmy grinned and added. "Better make that a star system!" "There aren't enough planets and galaxies out there to begin to cover my suffering." Qui-Gon said pointedly. "Anything you dislike about this person: He has no sense of fun. He is sooooo serious! I think it's proof that too much meditation is bad for you. He should spend less time getting in contact with his inner self. If he did he might realize that the living force is trying to tell him to go out and get himself well and truly drunk like any normal being!" "I am normal!" Qui-Gon looked hurt. "You don't have to be drunk to have a good time." He looked at Sal-Fina. "Although sometimes it helps." "Any advice: Get a hair cut. Now the beard's gone you look like a girl. Albeit a very ugly one." Sal-Fina laughed openly. "I what?!?!" Exclaimed Qui-Gon. "Has this person ever done anything helpful or kind: What, and that kiss he shared with Jemmiah wasn't kind? It's nice to see a surrogate father and daughter hitting it off so well, don't you think?" Qui-Gon remembered and looked utterly horrified. "I'm just reading out what's here." She pointed at the card. "Oh, Sith!" He groaned, covering his eyes with a large hand, "I did, didn't I?" "Yes." Obi-Wan glared. "There's no need to feel guilty. I see it as rehabilitation after all those years of having Sal-Fina slobbering over you." Jinn looked from the upbeat Jemmiah to the murderous Sal-Fina. "It'll take more than one little kiss to remove all the damage." He said. "Oh, yeah? I didn't hear you complaining at the time!" Sal-Fina shouted. "It's very difficult to complain when your head is stuck in the jaws of slavering Rancor." Qui-Gon retorted. "And what about me? I had to put up with that hellish beard for all those years but I didn't like it!" "I didn't know you had a beard." Jinn frowned. "It's a great pity. It might have covered up all those lines and wrinkles that you're starting to develop…" "I DO NOT HAVE WRINKLES!" She thumped the table with a clenched fist. "You keep that miserable expression on your face and you will have." "What miserable expression?" "The one you've been wearing for the past thirty years." "Seconds out!" Jemmiah laughed. "This is great! The Shaven Shadow versus the Wrinkled Warrior!" She looked down at the list again. "Anything unhelpful or unkind: I imagine this is the point after which he's just insulted Sal-Fina for being miserable, wrinkled and generally unlovable." "Unlovable! You missed that one!" Scolded Rela. "Just because I never said it doesn't mean I wasn't thinking it." Jinn replied. "You can't tell me that's kind. Even if it is all true…" Sal-Fina looked about ready to burst into flames. "Would you trust this man to watch your back: He is without doubt the best swordsman in the galaxy. Provided he didn't decide to meditate in the middle of it all, I would be very happy to have Qui-Gon watch my back. Anyhow, I owe him money from a Sabacc game so it would be in his interests to keep me alive!" "I thought it had to be you, Dex." Snorted Qui-Gon. "Sum up in under 100 words: If only I could persuade this man that there's more to life than sitting cross legged on a carpet or trying to teach his padawan to become as boring as he is. There's wine, women and song. Unfortunately, Qui-Gon grew up. I think Jemmiah will have to kiss him more often. That way we might find out if the old boy is still alive…" "I'm as alive as you are, any day." Jinn snorted. "Prove it." Dex said. "Do something spontaneous." "OK." Jinn replied, turning to face a confused looking Leona. "How about going out for a meal tomorrow?" "OH YES!" Leona smiled. "Thank you for asking." Qui-Gon turned to a stunned Dex. "You see," he said, "there's life in the old dog yet!" Jemmy shook her head. "That's no way to speak about Sal-Fina." |
| A Night to (almost) Remember |
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