| ***** Rela decide to put on a show for the last ten minutes of her shift. She started flipping bottles all around while in the process of making drinks. She was also keeping a close eye on Mace who she made sure was getting a nonstop line of drinks. After making sure everyone seated at the bar was happily indulging, Rela took a glance at Qui-Gon. He had finished his drink and was now staring into the bottom of his glass. "Credit for your thoughts, Babyface?" "I thought you had already given it to Jemmiah?" Qui-Gon answered dryly. "Okay, I deserved that. Are you going to grow it back?" "Yes!" he told her a bit too loudly. "Good because you look good with out it, but you’re a lot sexier with it I’ve been told." she teased. "I forget, do you take anything seriously?" he teased back. "Not if I can help it." she laughed. Rela quickly remembered the empty glass and grabbed it. "Let me fix you another one. By the way what’s the story with your Pad-" "Rela, I forgot to ask you about how Santos is doing." Spider interrupted. "He’s fine." Rela answered slowly while taking a quick glance at Qui-Gon. "Have you been talking to Mus?" "What do you think? C’mon girl I have to see what kind of work my rival does. I still don’t believe that you went to him and not me." Spider said pouting. "He was closer, I was fourteen, and I didn’t even know you yet. Could we talk about this later? Please?" Rela begged. "Give me a drink and maybe I’ll forget about it." Spider told her. Rela quickly got Spider her drink and the pink and green haired women kept her word and forgot about their conversation. Then she noticed the confused look on Qui-Gon’s face. "Weren’t you in rehab when you were fourteen?" Qui-Gon questioned. "The night’s early Qui-Gon, so drink up." Rela said desperately trying to change the subject and not laugh about his freshly shorn face. "Don’t change the subject on me." Qui-Gon told her. Then he noticed that she was staring at something behind him. "What are you looking at?" "Isn’t that Leona over there wearing your robe?" Rela asked pointedly. "Yes I gave it to her to wear. Why?" "Well it looks like she needs some help. That’s Grallin D’rno and if I remember correctly he usually only has one thing on his mind, and he doesn’t take no for an answer. You want me to call Mus over?" "No, I’ll take care of it." As Qui-Gon rose to go and help Leona, Rela went to check on Mace. He had his head on the bar and it was lolling back and forth, almost as if he was too drunk to raise it. Rela snuck up to him and ran her fingers over his smooth shiny head. "What are you doing?" Jemmiah asked her. "I’ve always wanted to do that." Rela laughed. "Do you think he’s out?" "Well let’s just do this simple Mace alertness test as an example. Hey Mace! Yoda’s outside, and he wants to challenge you to a fight!" Rela teased excitedly. "That’s not funny!" Obi-Wan protested. "It could be if we keep doing it." Rela replied dryly. ***** Griff stared in dismay as his acquaintance, Grallin D'rno, approached the petite Jedi. "Sith!" he hissed through clenched teeth as he saw the man attempting to pull Healer Leona away. "He's got the wrong one." Sybelle exclaimed with horror. "You'd better go over there and stop him." "And risk her finding out who set him on her?" Griff asked with trepidation. Retrieving her Red-eyed Devil from he barman, Sal-Fina made her way to the table where her padawan waited. She stopped when she spied the abominable mini-healer conversing with a well-known procurer of paid escorts. Angling her direction to pass near the two, she slowed her stride. "Well, you certainly have the most interesting of friends." she smirked sarcastically as she strode past, raising her glass in salute. "It doesn't surprise me a bit to think that Qui-Gon has lowered himself to pay for services rendered." Sal-Fina tittered maliciously. Hearing the double-edged insult, Leona shot a sudden look as the tall, blonde walked by. For the second time that night she felt the dark, rolling waves of anger fill her. What was it about that woman that brought out the very worst in her? Noticing that the conceited blonde sat at a table near the doorway, Leona maneuvered the clingy Grallin that way. "I just know this will be an extremely profitable venture for the both of us." the grungy man whispered to her gleefully as she began leading him to the door. "You will find someone more to your tastes." Leona called on the Force, tapping into the seedy man's pathetically weak mind. Strolling past their table, Leona feigned a slight mis-step and using the Force propelled the man back into the table, where an unsuspecting Sal-Fina sat. Raising her glass to her lips, Sal-Fina was suddenly accosted by the wheeling form of a man as he fell into her lap. Her glass flew from her hand, drenching her face and robe with the sweet, sticky drink. "Get off of me!" she screamed violently, standing quickly to deposit a rather surprised Grallin on the floor in a heap. Looking up at the tall woman, Grallin's expression seemed to change and a hopeful look of adoration sparkled in his eyes. "Oh, my dear. I'm so sorry." he said, using his grimy sleeve to wipe the excess liquid dripping down her face. "Stop that!" she fumed, pushing the man away forcefully. "Please, allow me to help you." D'noro pleaded, "I've never met a more beautiful vision." Ambianca giggled with amusement at the sight of her master being pawed at by the slovenly stranger. "Get away from me you...you" Laughter met her ears as the patrons around her watched the ungainly display unfold before them. With a pleased smile on her face Leona stepped back through the onlookers who were gathering at the table. Maybe now she'll have finally learned who not to mess with, she thought with satisfaction. Halfway to the bar she met up with Qui-Gon, who looked at the commotion at the far table then down at the healer. "What was that all about?" he asked, looking back at the seething figure of Sal-Fina ranting at someone he didn't recognize. "Oh, nothing." she stated calmly, "Just a little case of mistaken identity I think." "I do believe the man found just the person he was looking for." she stated with a mischievous tone that caused the large Jedi to glance down at her uncertainly. ***** Leona watched Sal-Fina’s comical attempts to remove herself from the grasp of the oily stranger with more than a little pleasure. She spotted An-Paj out the corner of her eye and both she and Qui-Gon made their way over to sit beside the rather happy looking man. "I don’t like the way those four are huddled together like that." Qui-Gon muttered to An-Paj. "Hmm?" The healer asked, his bluish skin taking on an almost flushed appearance. He shrugged. "Look like kids having fun to me." "That’s what worries me." Jinn replied. "Well, that new girl’s certainly eye catching." An-Paj noted. "You couldn’t exactly miss her, could you?" "I don’t know what makes people want to mutilate themselves like that." Qui-Go puzzled. "It must be damned awkward if she ever passes a magnet." An-Paj nodded. "Look on the bright side." "What bright side?" "It could be your Jemmy that comes home with her body pierced and tattooed like that! Or worse still, your padawan. Let me tell you, there are some very imaginative places to get studs put in these days…" "You don’t mean to tell me that somebody would actually want that done!" Qui-Gon’s eyes watered at the idea. "Oh, yes." An-Paj smiled. "Not just studs. Hoops, chains…" Qui-Gon winced. "But I imagine it’s a very good way of making sure you don’t lose things. Just attach them to the end of your chain and you will never have to go search for missing keys ever again." "I don’t think I like this conversation." Qui-Gon put his hands over his ears. "It doesn’t bother me. When you’re a healer you get to see a lot of strange things." He paused to swallow some of his drink. "Most of them happening to your padawan, of course." "Yes, well. I certainly do not need reminding about Obi-Wan’s remarkable homing ability that enables him to find his way to the healers at all times." He saw Obi-Wan laugh freely in Rela and Jemmiah’s company. "They are definitely up to something." "So. Is that clear?" Jemmy asked her co-conspirators. "Uh-huh." The others nodded in agreement. There came a cough from behind. "I don’t know what you guys are up to, but I want in." Meri lowered her head so that she was staring Jemmiah directly in the face. "This holocam is on a mission to find the most embarrassing subject matter this side of the galaxy. As it’s operator, I go where it goes." Jemmy sighed. "Right. Fine. But only if tattoo’s are your thing." "Or massages." Rela grinned. Meri’s eyebrows lifted ever so slightly. "Nothing you do surprises me anymore, Jemmiah. What do I do?" "You distract Qui-Gon." "How?" Meri frowned. "I dunno?" Jemmy snorted. "I’ve used up all my ideas already. It’s someone else’s turn." A slow smile spread across Rela’s face. "Tell him how cute he looks without his beard." Meri’s eyes twinkled. "And what will you guys be doing?" "Kidnapping our illustrious leader." Obi-Wan smirked at the clearly drunken Mace. "It shouldn’t be too difficult." He stared at Rela for a moment. "I don’t s’pose you’ve had the chance to speak to my master have you?" "About you and the Jemster?" Rela shook her head. "I’ll make him listen though. Don’t worry." Spider nodded at Mace, who groaned slightly as he lay slumped on the table. "Time to go." Obi-Wan looked round at everyone. "Are we ready then?" "Let’s do it." Rela laughed. Jemmiah watched as Meri slunk over to the table where Qui-Gon was conversing with An-Paj and Leona, holocam in hand. "Ready." She hissed to Spider and Rela over her shoulder. Spider stooped over the groggy figure of Master Windu. "Hello there, brave Sir Jedi. You look as if you could do with a bit of relaxation. Would I be correct?" Mace frowned. Who was this? "R-relaxation?" His tongue tried to form the words. "Yeah, you know." She began to rub his shoulders. "Talk about tense! Do you know what you need?" She asked him. "Uh-uh?" Windu gazed up at her, trying to keep his head from hitting the table. "A massage. Would you like one of those?" Mace blinked the drink-induced haze from his eyes. "Nothing dodgy," Spider insisted, "just a straight forward massage. Have you feeling as good as new. The massage parlor is just across the road. Obi-Wan’s going. Aren’t you, Obi?" "I am?" He frowned. Jemmiah nudged him sharply in the ribs. "Oh, yes. Sorry. I am." "See! It’ll be fun. You, me, Jemmiah…" Windu grinned a drunken grin. "That’s why you’re goin’, is it?" He laughed at Obi-Wan. "So you and your spitfire here can have some time to yourselves." He winked at Spider. "Just like when we caught them in the turbo lift." "I wouldn’t know about that." Spider said. "But I do know a man in need of a good old fashioned massage when I see one. What do you say?" There was a moments pause as Windu’s brain tried to take the suggestion in. "Yeah, I’ll be in on it." He smirked. "Good!" Spider grabbed his arm, whilst Rela took the other. Together they dragged him to his feet and over to the door. "Quick!" Kenobi gulped. "Before my master sees we’re gone!" Jemmy signaled Meri and followed them out of the doorway. "What do you and Spider have cooked up for him?" Obi-Wan asked qith a quirky smile on his lips. Jemmy considered his question. "Do you remember last year when Mace and Qui-Gon were meditating in the gardens, and that Fork-Tailed Stinger crawled up his nose and got stuck?" "Yes." Laughed Obi-Wan. "An-Paj had to remove it with his tweezers. But what’s that got to do with Mace?" "Everything." Jemmiah hugged him quickly as they dashed to the other side of the road, following Rela, Mace and Spider. "He’s terribly afraid of creepy crawlies, although he won’t admit it. And Spider is extremely fond of them." "So I gathered." Kenobi thought about all the spidery tattoos that covered the girl’s shoulders. "Well, she’s a dab hand with the old body painting, is our Spider. So I’ve arranged for Master Windu to have an artificial tattoo placed on his forehead. Just a vegetable dye one. It should wash off." Jemmiah said breezily as they walked towards the emporium. "In a few weeks time. But of course, he won’t know that." "That’s terrible!" Obi-Wan crowed in delight. "I love it!" "Spider’s chosen the most realistic transfer of a Fork-Tailed Stinger you have ever seen. He might not like it, but I look on it as helping to cure him of his phobia." "I can just see him attending his council meetings with a mock tattoo on his head." Kenobi wiped away tears of joy. "I’m glad Meri invited herself along. We have GOT to get this on the holocam." They entered the darkened shop front through the tiny doorway and then down a flight of stairs to the bowels of the establishment. The whole thing gave Obi-Wan the creeps. He never imagined Jemmy would ever get him in here. Not when Spider was in charge… The girl in question turned the lights up just a fraction. All over the walls were holos of other clients who had the most amazing tattoos on parts of their bodies that Obi-Wan was shocked to discover were tattooable! Not surprisingly, spiders, snakes and other wild creatures featured heavily. The arachnid lover just grinned and cracked her knuckles for effect. "Come into my parlor." Spider said with a laugh. ***** Garos Hmiol sat at his table and watched a group of padawans, including Simeon Cates, talking quietly and occasionally pointing at him. No doubt they were talking about the fire. As he reached the bottom of his glass an idea came to him. He walked up to the bar and ordered the same flaming drink he had burned down the bar with. Just for dramatic effect, he let his hand teeter, as if he were about to drop it again. Then, casting a wink at them, he downed the drink. He knew they were talking about him. And now they knew he knew. And he knew they knew he knew. And so on, and so on... ***** "Where are they?" frowned Qui-Gon as he craned his head in a vain effort to locate his missing padawan and his friends. An-Paj snickered just a little as he studied his drink. "Naked on the fresher floor." He said. Leona looked somewhat startled as her boss began to make short shrift of his beverage. "You’re enjoying yourself, aren’t you An-Paj?" Jinn stated. "I certainly am." The healer smiled. "I can’t remember the last time I went out for a drink in the company of friends. Usually trips to Cantinas are out of bounds for me." "Why?" Qui-Gon squinted at him, taking in the somewhat relaxed and crumpled appearance of the usually immaculately dressed master. "Because of your commitments as a healer?" "Stars, no." An-Paj set his glass down again. "Because I have six wives, and taking them all out for a quiet drink tends to bleed into ones budget quite considerably." "So it’s not because you’re afraid to set Simeon a bad example?" Leona wondered out loud. An-Paj looked at Simeon, who was in the process of trying to organize a giant Jedi pyramid consisting of his fellow drunken padawans. "When it comes to examples in bad behavior, Simeon is more likely to teach me than the other way round." He stared at the embryonic pyramid. "There’s no way they’ll stay on their feet. They’ve got all the heavy people going on the top." He sighed as he looked at Leona. "What have we brought with us for mending crush injuries and broken skulls?" "Now, Master Windu…." "Mace. Call me Mace." He smiled as he regarded Jemmiah’s friend. She was pretty enough, but that hair was playing Sithly havoc with his eyes. "Ok, Mace." She pinched his cheek in an overly friendly manner. "You know, you’re in very good shape." She ran an appraising finger down his spine, causing the Jedi to shiver slightly. "How old are you? Thirty-eight? Thirty Nine?" Windu swallowed the flattery with considerable smugness. "I’m a little bit older than that." He chuckled. Maybe this was a good idea after all. "Really? You’d never have thought it." Spider continued. "Now that you’re in your towel, I’d like you to lie along the table that we have prepared especially for you." She patted the almost trolley like table. "Just lie back and think of Coruscant." "You want me on my back?" Windu blinked in surprise. Jemmiah giggled. "To start off with." Spider replied, trying not to laugh and give the game away. "I’m going to put a nice, warm towel over your eyes. It will help you relax." "You’re the expert." Mace acknowledged with a wink. "But why all the spectators?" "He’s right." Spider waved Jemmy and Obi-Wan away to the next room. "I’m sure you can find things to amuse yourself with." "I’ll bet." Windu sneered as he settled down on the table and closed his eyes. Meri, who had joined them some time ago, decided to loiter in the corner with her holocam. The moment it looked as if Mace’s guard was slipping… "Now, I’m going to start with your feet, ok Mace?" Spider grinned. "Then when you’re relaxed I’ll move to your neck and head." "Why my feet and head?" Windu asked. "Err…pressure points." Mumbled Spider, making it up as she went. "Feet first, then your head. That’s the way it’s always done." "Well, as I’ve said. You’re the expert." "I certainly am." Spider said under her breath as she started to massage Mace’s feet. Rela watched as Mace became drowsier and drowsier. In the back of the adjoining room she could see Obi-Wan and Jemmy having what looked like a heart to heart session. (He had hold of her hand and was staring at her intently as she was speaking to him in hushed tones). At least that was what she assumed that was it. Either that or she had just proposed to him… "So, what’s the big story with those two?" She asked as Meri filmed the dozing Mace being attended to by an enthusiastic Spider. "What, Obi and Jemmy?" Meri replied without moving her head to look at her. "They’re in love." Rela made a disparaging noise. "It’s rather sweet, actually. It started about three months ago when she’d just turned sixteen. There was some promenade thingy for débutantes at her school. She had to wear this long white dress which she said made her look like an escapee from an Alderaani wedding." "And?" Rela prompted. "While she was waiting for her escort to turn up, Obi there made the big mistake of falling head over heels." Meri laughed at the memory. "It was SOOOOOOO funny! He was so struck by a dart of love that he didn’t realize that he was broadcasting his feelings all over the temple. I think everyone laughed at that one for days." She frowned momentarily. "Except for Qui-Gon." "Oh dear." Rela rolled her eyes. "Sounds like he has it pretty bad." "Master Jinn’s not too keen. I expect he feels it’s as if his son is going out with his daughter!" "Do you think that’s it?" Rela pondered doubtfully. "You don’t think it has anything to do with his own experiences in the past?" "What, Sal-Fina?" Meri chewed her lip thoughtfully. "I’ve no idea." Rela considered the situation for a while as Meri turned her attention back to Spider, who was now preparing to move upwards to Mace’s neck… "I think it’s about time somebody had a little chat to Qui-Gon about treating his padawan like an adult." "And you think you’re the one to do it?" Meri choked. "Good luck to you." Rela glanced at the young couple. "Somebody has to." And this time I’ll make him listen, she thought. Mace had been snoring for the last fifteen minutes. It had been so easy for Spider to slap the vegetable dye tattoo on his head. He’d never even moved so much as a muscle. "Nearly done." Spider pursed her lips. "I’m about ready to peel this thing off now." "How long will it last?" Rela stared at the slumbering Jedi. "Maybe as much as three weeks. It’s quite a strong dye, but it will start to break up in around fourteen days or so. Depends." "Depends on what?" Obi-Wan stifled a laugh. Windu looked so peaceful! He was going to get a real shock when he found out… "On how much skin he scrubs off trying to remove it!" Spider said proudly. Jemmiah regarded Obi-Wan steadily. "Well, are you satisfied that justice has been carried out?" "Oh, I’m more than happy with proceedings." He replied. Which is more than Mace will be when he sees that Fork-Tail Stinger stuck to his head, he thought in delight. "How about you folks?" Spider said as she peeled off the transfer paper to inspect her work. "I can’t interest you in a small modest tattoo? I can do one on any area of your body. Your masters would never know." "Happy enough with mine, thanks." Rela smiled. "But perhaps these two might like a transfer. Something that might help Qui-Gon see they were serious about each other." "But something that’ll come off!" Insisted Jemmy, much to Obi-Wan’s concern. "Nothing like the tattoo that Mace’s already got on his…well…his rump." "Oh, yeah!" Kenobi nodded. "He showed it to us at your party. He swore us to secrecy and said we were not to tell anyone what it said under pain of death." "And what did it say?" Rela asked. "MACE LOVES DEPA BILLABA." Grinned Jemmiah. Gradually, Mace began to stir from his snooze. Meri quickly hid the holocam once again. She didn’t want him to suss out what had been going on. "Welcome back, Mace." Spider said in a chirpy manner. "How do you feel?" Mace paused. "Good." He said eventually. "Very good infact. I feel like a new man." "How could you improve on the old one?" cooed Jemmiah. "Thanks, Jemmy." Mace stretched, kinking his neck. "How much do I owe your friend?" "Oh, nothing." Spider waved his offer of payment away. "I just like to see a satisfied customer or four." "That’s very generous." Windu said charmingly, reaching for his tunic top. Kenobi tried desperately not to stare at Windu’s head. That Fork-Tailed Stinger was VERY realistic… "We’ll wait for you in the hallway, Master Windu." Obi-Wan bit back his mirth. "Then we can rejoin the others." "They’ll probably have moved on to the next Cantina, anyway." Jemmiah forced herself to look at Mace’s feet. "Let’s get ready. Spider, you coming?" "Too right!" The girl retorted. "I’m not missing out on the fun." Mace was about to ask them what fun they were referring to when they all moved into the hallway. Meri seemed to be hiding something in her robes, although Mace couldn’t guess what. The funny thing was, he could have sworn that when they had gone he heard laughter drifting back towards the room… Contrary to what Jemmiah had said, nobody had moved to the next Cantina. "You’re doing it all wrong." An-Paj frowned as Simeon picked himself off the floor for what seemed like the hundredth time in the space of five minutes. "Why don’t you utilize the force to keep you up there?" "It’s a trifle difficult to uti…util.," he tried to spit the words out from his stumbling lips, "use the force when you can hardly stand up on your feet." "Oh." An-Paj replied. "And how do you feel?" "Er…miserable?" Simeon hazarded. "Good." An-Paj replied. He watched as Tanni Welasa prepared to stand on the back of an unsteady Hmiol. "No, no, NO!" The healer shouted. "Do you want to kill each other? Hmmm? Because I don’t want to spend my early morning shift putting what’s left of you back together with plastibond model glue." He walked over to the surprised little group. "I’ll show you how this is done. Isn’t that right Qui-Gon?" "I’m not doing it." Jinn knew what was coming next. "You see, Master Jinn is going to show us how this is done, too." "I am NOT!" "And so will Master Berlingside." Dex looked up from his drink. "Eh?" "And Mace…where IS Mace?" An-Paj looked round in the bar but couldn’t find him. "Oh, nevermind. Sal-Fina will do instead." "Now I’m DEFINITELY not doing this." Qui-Gon crossed his arms like a petulant little child. An-Paj stared at him. "Did somebody take away your rattle?" Qui-Gon huffed. "I’ll do it." Leona said, thinking to herself that anything Sal-Fina could do, she could do just as well. "Fantastic!" An-Paj smiled. "I might even forgive you for that embarrassing truth or dare question you asked me." He tapped Lilith on the shoulder. "You look like a nice, solidly built lady." He grinned. Lilith was stunned. "Could I interest you in being part of our Jedi display team?" "Oh, I feel really good!" Mace smiled. "I think I may have to call upon your services again." "Yes," Spider agreed, "I think we can safely say that it’s had the desired effect!" Mace heard the shared laugh between Kenobi and Jemmiah, and felt a small wrinkle of concern spread through his body. Was something going on here? "Which should we try? The next Cantina or the last one?" Meri asked. "The last one." Obi-Wan said. "It’s nearer, and a quick glance will tell us if they’re still there or not." He bit his lip as he thought of Master Windu’s tattoo. The reaction was going to prove interesting. |
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| A Night to (almost) Remember |
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