| ***** "Master! That’s not fair!" Kenobi squealed. "You should ask one of the others." "Why? Because they have less embarrassing questions to ask than I might?" Qui-Gon smiled. "Sorry, padawan. I choose you." "You’re not sorry at all." Grumbled Obi-Wan. "Sorry, what was that? Dare, did you say?" Qui-Gon enquired, still feeling relief that his ordeal had passed. "NO! No…I haven’t decided." He frowned in concentration. "Oh, come on Kenobi!" Berlingside laughed. "It won’t be that bad. Maybe." Oh, hell. What should I decide, Obi-Wan shivered. "Truth." He swallowed. His Master’s eyes lit up. "I’d like you to tell the truth to our little assembly here," Qui-Gon pointed at the group in circular fashion, "and inform them who was responsible for the hoses in the temple gardens sprinkling raw slurry over everyone instead of water." He stared intently at his padawan. "And remember, I’ll know if you tell me any falsehoods." Obi-Wan groaned inwardly. That was one of the most amazing practical jokes that had ever been played in the history of the Jedi Temple. Master Yoda and the council had decided that the fountain gardens needed something extra about them during the summer season, both practical and aesthetically pleasing. Elaborate water sprinklers that gave the effect of dancing waves and archways of fine spray had been installed at hardly any cost to the temple at all. And during the grand opening, somehow, the water had been replaced with sewage, which had landed upon everybody in sight. Mace and Yoda had been unrecognizable, and An-Paj had to treat them in the infirmary for possible infection. "Can I have dare instead, Master." Kenobi pleaded. "Too late, padawan." Jinn smirked. "Answer the question." Obi-Wan sighed, apologizing with his eyes for dropping his co-conspirators in it. "Myself, Jay Abran and…" he looked away, "Jemmiah." "And who actually swapped the water pump for the slurry pump?" Jinn asked. "I can’t answer that." Kenobi grinned. "Why not?" The tall master queried. "Because I’ve already answered one question from you and I’m not allowed to answer a second." Kenobi looked triumphant, and resisted the temptation to add "ha, ha!" to the end of his sentence. "Damn." Muttered Jinn. "Now, what have we here?" Obi-Wan glanced about. "AH-HA! Jay Abran." "Uh-oh." Abran feigned fear. After Jemmiah’s little stunt there was little to worry about. "Truth or dare?" He thought about it. "Dare." He replied. "Oh, goooood!" Kenobi’s expression promised retribution. "I was SO afraid you’d pick truth." "I’m not scared." Abran laughed. "You will be!" Obi-Wan laughed. "Master, have you still got those stockings?" Looking surprised, Jinn handed them over to his padawan. "Your penalty is to wear these INSTEAD of your trousers for the rest of our stay in the cantina." Abran looked mortified. "And don’t ladder them." ***** Hmiol sat, amused at the game unfolding around him. He watched Abran retreat to the fresher to change into his new "evening attire". He was not scared, not in the least. Because Master Yoda had seen the fire, nothing. Mattered. Any more. He would never see these people after tomorrow, so there was no use being quiet, worrying about whether or not he said the right thing. He had never known having nothing to lose could be so fun. ***** Jay Abran returned to the fray wearing his silk stockings and a look of disgust. The applause and jeers followed him back, where upon he contrived to hide his embarrassment by slouching as low in his seat as possible. "Nice legs, Jay." Squealed Jemmiah in delight. He raised his eyes to meet hers. "So you’ve said before." He replied ominously, noticing the flicker of wariness upon Kenobi’s face. "However, let’s not talk about me." He leaned forward on one arm focusing only on her. "Let’s talk about you." She looked uncertain. "What do you mean?" "What I mean is Jemmiah, truth or dare." "Not a Sith’s chance I’m taking truth with you asking the questions." She sniffed. "I pick dare." Abran ‘s little maneuver had worked perfectly. Now, how to get her to kiss Kryztan without making it obvious that was what he wanted to achieve. "You saw Master Jinn’s dare?" "Yes." She said warily. "I think everyone saw Master Jinn’s dare." "Well, I’ve got a variation on a theme." He smiled. "Do you remember the love scene from last years holo film hit ‘Temptations of the heart’ with Rex Victory?" "It wasn’t a sequel to Coruscant Blue, was it?" Laughed Simeon, as Sal-Fina reddened again. "Do you recall that particular scene?" Abran repeated. "Yes." Jemmiah said under her breath. "The bit with the love triangle? Where her husband comes home and finds her having a passionate encounter with the gardener?" "Yes!" She snapped. "I want you to act that scene out. I think Obi-Wan could play Lyffar Darrington’s role and maybe…he looked around blindly, "Kryztan could play the Rex Victory part." "But that means I…" Jemmiah began, looking at Obi-Wan and pointing at Kryztan, "I have to kiss…" "Oh. Yes. So you will." Jemmiah looked as if she’d been floored with an iron bar. Obi-Wan’s eyes flashed with something only a few stages short of anger. Qui-Gon put a hand on his Padawan’s arm to placate him. //Careful, Obi-Wan// He warned. //Master// Kenobi bowed his head, but looked severely displeased. Jemmiah turned to Sybelle and Kylenn for back up, but they all seamed as worried as she was. "Ok, I accept." She agreed. "But if Kryztan is playing the Rex Victory role, I want a say in the rest of the casting. Do you agree?" Abran shrugged, not caring. She’d agreed to the part that was important. "Fine, if you don’t want Obi-Wan to be the other player. Who do you want?" She faced him square on. "You." She said. He looked surprised. "If that’s what you want." Abran smiled. Even better! He’d get to see the action close up! The three would be actors stood up and found a clear spot to stand in. Abran was already grinning. "Ready?" He said. The other two nodded. "Action!" Jay knocked on the table in order to replicate the sound of the door. "Wait!" Jemmiah commanded, holding up her hand. "What is it NOW?" Jay looked exasperated; desperately trying to ignore the fact he was wearing ladies stockings and receiving VERY funny looks from passers by. "Who said you were to knock on the door?" Jemmy crossed her arms. "It’s in the film!" Abran insisted. "Yes, but it’s the Lyffar Darrington role that knocks on the door." "So?" He crossed his arms. "I will be playing that role, thank you so very much." "But you can’t!" Abran insisted. "You said that as long as Kryztan played the Rex Victory role of the gardener, I could have my say as to the rest of the casting. I’m choosing to play the Lyffar Darrington role of the husband." She winked at Obi-Wan who beamed in delight. "YOU will be playing the role of the unfaithful wife." Jemmiah looked to Mace and Qui-Gon for support. "That’s what I heard you say." Jinn replied. "Me too," Mace grinned, "no mistaking it." "But that means that I will have to kiss…" He broke off in horror. "Yes, it does." Jemmiah smiled. "Or we could just wave this one and let me pick the next victim. What do you say?" Abran looked at Kryztan and nodded his head violently in agreement. "Good." Jemmiah flashed her famous smile. She whispered in Abran’s ear. "Don’t try to get the better of me in front of Obi-Wan like that ever again." She looked down at the bestockinged legs. "And for what it’s worth, I still think you have very nice legs." Abran smiled. "My turn now." Jemmiah smirked, delighted with her triumph. "And I pick Hmiol." "What?" He asked in amazement. "Truth or dare?" ***** What to pick? What to pick? Garos was not afraid, he just wanted to get it over with. After all, he had nothing to lose. Jemmiah would surely have a deadly dare. Plus he was something of an enigma to everyone else. That made Truth the safer of the two options. "Truth." he said. Jemmiah seemed to consider it for a moment. That can't be good. Hmiol thought. Finally, she spoke. "Ok, Garos. Tell me this. Have you ever done ANYTHING that was..." "Was what?" he asked, growing more fearful by the moment. "That was, shall we say, below temple standards?" She smiled. Hmiol began to panic. That was the one thing he had not expected. He couldn't tell them about his piggyback program on the temple surveillance systems. He was about to break down and say it, when he remembered Kenobis earlier tactic with his master. He smiled. "Yes." he stated simply, raising his head higher. "Yes I have." "Such as..." "I believe you're past your one question limit, my turn!" He said, grinning wider than he ever had before. With the burden lifted from him, he looked around at the gathering with new eyes. There was really only one choice. The person who had ruined the whole night for him, not to mention his chances of ever being a Jedi Knight. "Simeon, Truth or Dare?" Master Far Biwo ran down the streets of Coruscant as fast as his legs would carry him. He still couldn't believe what he had seen on the holo. A bar on fire, and HIS padawan, of all people, was responsible. He had spit out a perfectly good mouthful of Biwo Stew when he saw it. While on the outside, he was angry, but secretly he was pleased. Maybe Garos finally opened up himself. He thought about it for a minute, and sighed. I'll believe it when I see it. About an hour later, Far stepped up to the doorway of Hari's Tavern, the next bar on the cantina crawl. He had arrived at the One for the Road shortly after the masters and padawans had left, and hoped they were still here. He didn't feel like walking to the next one. He opened the door and strolled into the smoke-filled room. ***** "Umm," Simeon found his mouth had gone very dry. "Dare." Hmiol rubbed his hands like a miser counting his credits. What terrible things could he make Simeon do? His big weakness was for the ladies. So… "Simeon Cates." Hmiol pronounced as if a judge sentencing a condemned man, "I want you to pick out the best looking girl, in your opinion, amongst our little gathering. You will firstly tell her your reasons for choosing her over everyone else and then get down on bended knee and propose marriage to her." "WHAT!" Cates yelled. "You heard me." Hmiol grinned in a distinctly glazed fashion. Cates looked about him. There were many pretty girls and women. Sal-Fina was lovely in a cold sort of way, but you wouldn't want to choose her if she was the last woman on Coruscant. Sybelle had a dark kind of beauty. Kylenn was dignity and gentleness personified. Ambianca, Letina, Healer Leona… Well, he had to use his brains. It didn’t happen often but this time he would. That way he could minimize the damage a little. He stood up. "I chose Dimallie." he said, surprising Healer Leona amongst many. "I choose her because she is kind, warm hearted, gifted and very lovely." "Yuck!" Letina frowned. "I was going to chose Jemmiah, but frankly Obi-Wan would kill me and so I went for the safer option." He looked at the semi-drunken Dimallie, who was hovering blissfully unaware in partial consciousness. He stooped down and took her hand in his and then pressed it to his lips. "Dimallie Melbra, I ask you to consent to be my lawful wedded wife, forsaking all others, in sickness and health or whenever else you decide to drop something heavy and expensive on my head from a great height. I choose you for your ability to make me smile whenever An-Paj has been horrible to me…" "Excuse me?" An-Paj cut in. "And because you make me look like the galaxy’s most hardened drinker in comparison to you. But most of all, I choose you because you are completely wasted and won’t remember a single thing I’ve said!" He sat back, satisfied. "Er…Simeon." Jemmiah nodded at Letina, who was brandishing her holocam. "Oh, Sith!" Simeon said crossly. Qui-Gon smiled at Mace Windu. "I’m not sure exactly what’s on this holocam, but I say whatever it is, we get a copy and bury it in some kind of time-capsule under the temple floor, so that in generations to come, some poor Jedi padawan can see how bad things were in our time." "Great idea!" Smiled Mace, raising his glass. "We can watch it all in the Hell’s Chance before we head back to the temple and Yoda’s singing." Qui-Gon sighed. "Nuts to Yoda’s singing." He said. Simeon carefully selected his prey. "Kylenn Imri. Truth or dare?" ***** Far finally reached the gathering and saw Hmiol. He looked horrible. Worse than he had ever seen him before. "GAROS HMIOL!" He snapped sharply. "Master!" Garos said, whirling faster than a mad starship. "Far, what are you doing here?" Qui-Gon asked. "Trying to figure out what the Sith you have done to my padawan. How in the galaxy did he get drunk? He doesn't even drink!" Not that I haven't tried... "I think you had better talk to him." Mace said, looking at Kylenn. "We have a game to finish." "No hurry!" She replied quickly, shooting a desperate look at Master Biwo. Far grabbed his padawan by the shoulder and yanked him up. "Out." he ordered, marching him to the entrance. You burnt down that bar, Garos!" Biwo exclaimed. "Do you know how bad an image that is for the Jedi?" "Whatever." He said, looking up at the sky. "What's gotten into you?" Biwo asked, concerned but also excited by his padawans new attitude. "You're fairly sober now, why are you acting like this?" "Because master, NOTHING MATTERS ANYMORE." "What are you talking about?" "When I get back, Master Yoda will either make me a farmer or banish me outright. Either way, I'll never see them, you or the temple again. So who cares what I say or do tonight?" a thought occurred to him. "By the way, I HATE Biwo Stew. It is THE most horrible thing I've ever had the misfortune of tasting!" Seeing the hurt expression that crossed his masters' face, Hmiol quickly retreated. "Master, I'm sorry, I've been under a lot of stress, and..." Far cut him off and wrapped him in an embrace. "It's alright, Garos. Other Jedi have done worse things before. If necessary, I'll fight the council. But here this, I will not give you up. Ok? I'll do my best to keep you not only a Jedi, but my padawan." Hmiol looked up at Far, all conflict between them gone. "Thank you, Master." he said. "Now let's go get a drink. I don't feel like walking back to the temple, so I'll join you for the evening, if you don't mind." Together, they entered the bar again. ***** "Dare!" Kylenn moaned as she closed her eyes, flinching at the horrible fate that probably awaited her. She wondered why Simeon had picked her? "Don't look so nervous!" Simeon laughed. "It's pretty easy, really. Infact, you won't even have to move from your seat." "Really?" Kylenn said uneasily. "Promise." Cates nodded. "What I want you to do is to watch me whilst I perform my famous party piece..." "NO!" Screamed Kylenn. "Not the toes!" She turned to Master Jinn. "That's not fair! He knows I can't watch him do that...thing! It's disgusting! Please, don't make me watch!" She begged. "I'm sorry, Kylenn. But you did say you would." "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH SITH!" She whined, preparing herself. Simeon was already removing his sock. "I don't want to watch." She half sobbed. Jemmiah shook her head. "The excitement’s too much for me. I'm gonna get some ice with this drink." She pulled a face. "Want another, Ben?" "Not yet." Kenobi grinned, intent on Kylenn's disgusted expression. Sighing, Jemmiah stood up and walked to the bar. As her back was turned she heard several short screams from Kylenn which trailed off into a keening wail. A loud round of applause followed from everyone around the table. "That was ghastly." Kylenn nearly cried. "I think that's a remarkable talent you've got there, son." An-Paj said proudly. "That's nothing." Simeon replied with just a hint of smugness. "I can do that trick with other parts of my body..." "I'M NOT WATCHING!!!" Kylenn hid her face away with a scream. "Neither are we!" Mace added. "You were very brave, Kylenn. "Now it's your turn." "I need a drink first." Kylenn stammered. "Jemmy, get Kylenn an iced Solar Blast, would you?" "Ok." The Corellian girl called back. Jemmiah waited for her drink, becoming more and more aware of the stubble faced thirty-something individual that had been gradually sliding over towards her. She frowned under her dark brows. Is there something wrong with me tonight? What’s so different about me that I’m attracting every pervert within the vicinity? Come on barman, she urged. Where’s that drink? After a further minute of waiting, Jemmiah picked up Kylenn’s Solar Blast and hastened towards the conclave of Jedi in the corner. The rather dirty faced individual who had been eyeing her up had spotted her move and intercepted her, still with drink in hand. "Hello, sweetie." He cooed. She looked over her shoulder and saw Qui-Gon about to come to her rescue. "Sweetie? I think you’ve got the wrong person." Jemmiah frowned. He slicked his hair back and put an arm round her shoulder. "My name’s Dree Hurmis." He ogled her. "Remember that name, ‘coz you’re going to be screaming it in ecstasy for the rest of the night." "My name’s Jemmiah." Jemmy shrugged off the arm and smiled sweetly at him. "Remember my name, ‘coz you’re going to be screaming it in agony for the next half-hour." In a blinding fast move, Jemmiah raised her knee and dealt the man a blow he wouldn’t soon forget. She followed it up by tipping Kylenn’s drink over his head, and then finally rounded it off by sticking the drink’s pink parasol behind the man’s ear. She threw her head back and walked slowly back to the group, setting Kylenn’s empty glass infront of her. "Sorry," She said, "but he needed it more than you did." "Owch." Winced Mace as he looked at the man, rolling about in pain upon the floor. "Remind me never to get in your bad books." He looked about, only to see that all the males present had crossed their legs, whether out of sympathy or fear he couldn’t tell. "Makes Simeon’s toes seem like an anticlimax." Kylenn mumbled. "Ok. I choose Master Windu. Truth or dare?" "Dare." Windu said defiantly. "Do you worst." Qui-Gon whispered to him "I think you might regret what you’ve just said." "Oh, come on." Mace laughed as he drained his glass, "it’s only sweet little Kylenn. What harm can the girl do? She doesn’t have a despicable bone in her body." "It’s not Kylenn you should be worried about." Jinn nudged his friend with his elbow and nodded at Jemmiah. Mace pensively risked a furtive look at the Corellian, and could see a brief exchange of grins between her and Kylenn Imri. "It won’t be that bad." He stated without conviction. "It’s not as if Kylenn and Jemmiah know each other very well. They won’t have had time to plan anything…" "Mace, you obviously don’t know women. You specifically don’t know the average teenage girl’s mentality. You even more specifically don’t know Jemmiah. Take my advice. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid." Windu gulped. "You’re dare is to select which of the girls at this table have the nicest legs." Kylenn grinned. "Oh, I can do that!" Beamed Mace. "Blindfold, and using your hands only." "What!" Mace turned to Dex Berlingside. "Sounds like fun to me!" Dexy said, rubbing his hands. "Want to swap?" "And just so you won’t cheat, Master Jinn will be shielding our presence from you so you won’t know who’s who. Let’s see if you can guess whose legs are whose." "Sith!" Windu exclaimed, surprised. "I thought you were a sweet little girl." "I was," Kylenn agreed, "But I’m afraid I’ve seen the error of my ways." She hiccuped slightly as she took a drink from Master Berlingside’s glass. Obi-Wan looked about. "What can we use as a blindfold?" "How about Jemmiah’s neck scarf?" Abran reached out and pulled out the loose knot, leaving behind a clearly visible red mark. "Where in the seven Sith hells did you get THAT!" Snapped Qui-Gon angrily, bending over to have a closer look. "It’s rats." She protested. "The infirmary’s full of them." "It is NOT." An-Paj crossed his arms indignantly. "Ok. There aren’t any rats. The roaches have scared them off." She sulked. "It’s only a little, tiny, insignificant indentation. That’s all." "You are in hot water when you get back, Obi-Wan. I’m keeping score padawan, and this is being added to the already impressive tally of misdemeanors you’ve managed to run up tonight." Kylenn stood up to tie the scarf round Windu’s eyes. "Not too tight." He insisted. "What, so you can cheat?" Sybelle chimed in. "Not a chance." Berlingside smiled largely. "Right ladies, if you would like to take your positions…" "I wonder how many times he’s said that over the years." Jemmiah muttered to Letina as they also stood up. The contestants walked to the center of the floor, wondering what they had let themselves in for. Letina, Leona, Jemmiah, Sybelle, Ambianca, Junine, Vernice Ashdal and Depa Billaba all stood in a line. At the last minute, Jemmiah waved over Jay Abran. "Stand at the end of the line!" She laughed quietly. "Ready ladies?" Windu asked after the girls had rolled up their tunic trouser legs. "We are, Master Windu." Jemmy smiled smugly. "But are you?" She whispered under her breath as Jay submitted his legs for inspection. This would be good! ***** Lilith was trying her best not to laugh too loud as the young man took a place at the end of the line of legs to be manually inspected. Krelo wasn't making a sound, but her face told the smuggler exactly how hilarious she found the whole thing. The Knight was also keeping a sharp eye on the girl with the holocamera. She would pay quite a great deal for a copy of the evening's entertainment and Lilith had generously offered to pay for Krelo's copy as long as she could also get a copy for herself. One never knew when having something like that might get one through customs with a little less hassle. Master Windu was down on his knees in front of the line of women with the young man at the end. No woman would ever make that sort of mistake, but one never knew what men were thinking, if they were thinking, or with what portion of their anatomy they were doing said thinking. Tears were streaming from Lilith's eyes and she fought valiantly to keep her gut-busting laughter down to a mere quiet gasping behind her hands. One didn't see a Jedi Master, let alone a council member, on their knees in front of someone very often, and this particular occasion was one the smuggler wouldn't pass up for all the spice on Kessel. ***** Garos and Far walked up just as Mace was beginning his inspection. While Far asked Qui-Gon what the nature of the dare was, Hmiol just laughed. He spotted something moving slowly away in the shadows behind Jemmiah. She followed his gaze and turned to see what he was staring at. "Where are you going, Ben?" Mace looked up from his inspection. "Kenobi, don't even think about going anywhere!" Garos laughed again as his master joined him. He couldn't wait to see what Windu had cooked up. |
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| A Night to (almost) Remember |