| As Long as there is Hope By Jemmiah |
| It had taken An-Paj a while to clean the girl - and himself - up so that they were both in a state fit to be seen by visitors and other healers alike. An-Paj had warned Qui-Gon that the medication would be exceptionally strong, but it seemed that the illness the child was suffering from had weakened her immune system considerably, leaving the drugs to play havoc with her physical tolerance. She'd been sick at least twice since confessing her crimes against An-Paj to Qui-Gon, each time just as t he man had been about to leave the room. He was beginning to wonder if the healer wasn't right in that a certain degree of her suffering was due to the machinations of her own mind. "Would you like me to leave the door open for you?" An-Paj conceded, realizing that a lot of her anxieties were to do with being shut away on her own. He didn't want her to get unduly depressed and turn her head to the wall and give up. Maybe even leaving the door to her private room ajar would help her to relax and let her hear the sounds of people to-ing and fro-ing outside. At first the girl's face brightened perceptibly but just as suddenly the expression slid back into troubled silence. Jemmiah shook her head. "Are you sure?" An-Paj asked, sounding a touch surprised. "Yes, sir." Jemmy mumbled and closed her eyes. The healer looked baffled and turned to face Qui-Gon's equally startled face, the taller man shrugging as if to say he had no idea as to her sudden change of heart. "I'll drop in to see you very shortly." An-Paj replied, taking a large and exaggerated step backwards. "And if you feel like you are going to be sick again, press the buzzer and aim for the bucket by your bedside!" "Urggggghhh." Jemmy groaned and turned on her side. "If you need anything then my padawan can get it for you." "Somebody get me a blaster!" Replied Jemmiah, grabbing the pillow from under her head. An-Paj glanced at his chrono, then at Qui-Gon, and then finally took his leave of both of them. "I can stay a little longer." Qui-Gon smiled at her, "But I really should be getting back. And you should be getting some rest." "…can't rest. Feel awful." He just about made out from underneath the pillow. "I know. It can't be pleasant for you. But please try and relax. You will get better quicker that way." He paused for a moment before catching the uncertain look in her eyes and suddenly it came to him why she was so keen to have the doors closed instead of slightly opened even though she had professed a liking for company. "You're afraid that you might have some further nightmares, aren't you?" Qui-Gon asked perceptively. "You don't want to have the door ajar incase you disturb the other patients in the room next to yours." "How do you always know what I am thinking?" Jemmiah protested. "It's not fair!" "Well, maybe we are more alike than you imagine." Qui-Gon opened his mouth to ask her what she thought of the possibility of being able to live with himself and his padawan after she was better, but knew that no matter how much of a boost it would give her he could not do so without running the risk of breaking her heart. Vernice was right: the council would most likely say no. And then what? Leave the temple? Take Obi-Wan and Jemmiah with him? The council would not allow that either, nor would Coruscant's child welfare league. But he had to help this girl somehow…he had to! But how? "Don't be afraid of being alone in here." Qui-Gon continued in a soothing voice. "There are people just outside who are trying to get you better. They won't stop until they have found the right cure for your ailments. It might take some time but you will get there, Jemmiah. You just have to believe it, that's all. And for all that the temple is a large building both Obi-Wan and myself are within the precinct and can visit you at a moments notice. I'm sure my padawan would be very pleased to speak with you again soon. Infact I know he longs to find out how you are, even though he has no fondness for this place." "You will come back?" Jemmiah tried to get him to promise. "You're not just going to leave me here, are you?" "I'll make a deal with you." Qui-Gon replied with a small squeeze of her hand. "You try and get some sleep and when you wake up in a few hours time An-Paj will send for me and I'll come and visit you again. Does that meet with your approval?" he smiled at her. Jemmiah nodded slowly, accepting the bargain. Not that it would be worth much: there was no way she would ever get any sleep the way she currently felt. She wondered how Obi-Wan dared to sleep after all that had happened. He must really be tired…or free from guilt. It was true what they said - there was no rest for the wicked. She doubted her conscience would ever let her sleep again… "I'll do my best." Jemmy replied. "Glad to hear it, I am." A voice that came seemingly out of nowhere, at least as far as Jemmiah could tell, was followed shortly by a mysterious tapping sound like that of bird's feet on a metal roof. Lying on her back with various tubes inside her body Jemmiah could not raise herself sufficiently to see who or what had uttered the sentence. Master Jinn was staring at some point on the floor at the foot of her bed, just out of sight. Whatever it was had to be awfully small! "Master." Qui-Gon bowed to the invisible something. "I never heard you enter the room." "Knock, I did." The voice sounded indignant. "Hear me you did not. Listening you were not! Next time, pay attention you should to your old master, hmmm?" "You said that without moving your lips!" Jemmiah was even more impressed than ever. "That's a really neat trick! Even better than Vernice with the plate!" "Sorry?" Qui-Gon turned round. "Oh, that wasn't me. That was…allow me to introduce you to Master Yoda." "I don't see anyone." Jemmy squinted, trying to raise herself up off her bed but finding it very difficult to move. "Looking in the wrong place, you are." The amused words floated back. "See me you cannot, so come to you I must." The tapping and shuffling noise got louder and louder for a few second until Jemmiah finally saw the tiny and wizened being that went with the hilarious backward speaking voice. He was small, slightly hunched over and leaning on a wooden stick. Judging by the thin wisps of white hair on his head Jemmiah reckoned that he was of a considerable age. She didn't know where to look first! The long, bat like ears held a particular fascination for her just as An-Paj's antennae had done, especially the way they twitched and moved about. How Jemmiah wished she could do that with her ears! The eyes were sleepy looking but gave the impression of total calm and relaxation and Jemmy knew at once she was perfectly safe with the old jedi master with his green, parchment like skin. "Hmmm." Yoda commented as he stopped and clambered up on the chair beside the bed, enabling them both to get a better look at each other. Sometimes Qui-Gon wondered just how much his former mentor needed that stick of his, or whether it was just for decoration - or prodding errant padawans on the leg when they did something wrong. "Looking after you Master Jinn is, yes?" Yoda enquired. "Yes, sir." Jemmy nodded. "He's been very good to me." "As well for him, or answer to me he would." Yoda replied in a singsong voice. "Knows me of old, does Master Qui-Gon." The man in question was feeling slightly anxious as to why Yoda had made a point of visiting Jemmiah so early on and wasn't certain as how to interpret the master's interest. There was no doubt that Yoda would be a fine ally to have should he side with him, but he was a formidable opponent too when he did not agree with you. "Master, may I ask why you have decided to visit?" Qui-Gon stood akimbo as he waited for the old troll to answer him. "Not that we aren't pleased to see you, it's just that Jemmiah is…" "Sick." Nodded Yoda. "As one would expect in an infirmary, yes?" Qui-Gon refused to rise to Yoda's provocation. "Two reasons I had for visiting." Yoda frowned as he gazed up at the looming figure of his former padawan. "First, commanded your presence was, by the council. Refuse to do as you were bidden, you did! So, as a representative of the council I am here. Move mountains I cannot. So come to you I have." Qui-Gon resolutely refused to feel guilty for his earlier dismissal of Mace. "Secondly, to see this one I have come." Yoda let his gaze fall on the ailing Corellian girl who was staring right back at him. "Seen nothing like me before, I'm sure you have not, hmm?" "No, sir!" Jemmiah admitted. "But you're not like how I imagined. You're not at all frightening!" Jinn felt the corner's of Yoda's eyes upon his own shoulder and again ignored him as best he could. "Frightening I hope I am not." Yoda nodded sagely. "No, sir! And I really like your voice. There's nothing at all hard to follow about it." She replied. "I think you're kind of sweet." Sweet? Qui-Gon's brows shot up in alarm. In all my former master's hundreds of years I'll bet that nobody has ever called him sweet before! They're getting on really well so far… "Appreciate me like you do my padawan does not." Yoda replied, turning round to face Qui-Gon. "When well this girl is again, invite you round to dine with me, I will." "I thought we said we wanted her to get better." Qui-Gon stated. Yoda closed his eyes for a moment, screwing up the already wrinkled features. Jemmiah stared at him, completely entranced. What a strange little being! But he was small yet wise…and that made Jemmiah like him all the more. The ears tipped right back against his head almost sorrowfully for a moment, before the eyebrows quirked suddenly upwards in astonishment and amazement. Qui-Gon watched him too…and became suddenly wary. What had he seen? "Watch over this one, you will." Yoda instructed as he stretched out an odd-shaped little hand at Jemmiah. "Your written report the council will accept for the time being. Inform us you will of what happened." "Yes, Master Yoda." Qui-Gon bowed, still concerned of what Yoda's vision might have concerned. It was about Jemmiah, he was certain of that, although his various facial contortions had left him no clearer as to whether it was ultimately good or bad. One thing was for certain: Mace wouldn't like it. "Return I shall, to see how you fare." Yoda turned his passive looking eyes back to Jemmiah. "Rest you should, yes! Look after you well, the healers will. There is no need to fear." The old master smiled, and with that final statement Qui-Gon knew at last he had found the ally he had been seeking. ****** If Qui-Gon had actually left the girl's bedside that evening feeling a lot less stressed than he had been when first arriving there, the feeling had totally dissipated by the time he and Obi-Wan had gone to visit the next morning. Jemmiah, it seemed, had not passed a good evening at all and had been almost constantly ill from the moment he had left her. Her spirits seemed to rise and ebb whenever Qui-Gon was nearby. The eyes that had greeted him that morning had been full of drug induced dullness and Obi-Wan in particular had been upset to see how his new friend had been faring. "Master, she looks terrible." The padawan muttered once they were out of earshot. "I didn't expect to see her like that…" "I know, Obi-Wan. It's not an easy thing to do, just sitting back and watching. But there is nothing else that we can do except wait." "We can take it in turns to sit with her like we did on the ship." Obi-Wan volunteered. "An-Paj says she gets depressed because she's lonely here on top of the illness and her medication." "It's a generous offer padawan, but this could go on for weeks…" Qui-Gon shook his head. "I have your training to think of as well as Jemmiah's welfare. We shall go and speak to An-Paj again and see what he recommends." The solution, when it had been offered, was a simple one. "She's got to the stage now that if we don't just throw caution to the wind and bombard this disease with all we have I think there's a fair chance she will not survive." An-Paj watched as Obi-Wan's eyes fell to the floor in dismay. "So we've had to increase her drug intake. That's why her body isn't coping very well right now. She's drugged to the eyeballs in a hope of letting her get some rest. Natural sleep would be better but it's not going to happen. She'll heal better away from a constant nightmare of pain and fear. I'm afraid she's not going to be very responsive for the next few days. If she comes through that alright…" An-Paj paused, "she'll have a long period of convalescence. "I think that is when you might find she needs your support and friendship. Now, between the three of us and Ferdi and the other healers we should be able to make sure she's not lacking attention. I'm afraid there's not much you can do right now. You might as well go back home and get some more rest." "One of us should be here." Qui-Gon reluctantly found himself in agreement with Obi-Wan's earlier statement. "I'd hate to think of her as alone. I gave my word." "Never fear: I've got just the answer to your problems." An-Paj's face broke into a large grin as he walked a few paces down the corridor, avoiding a 'WET FLOOR' sign and an abandoned bucket and mop. "Simeon!!!" he called. "I've got a job for you!" *************** Things stayed more or less the same for the following three days, with Simeon standing in for both Qui-Gon and his padawan whenever they were unable to be nearby. Healers would come and go to check on Jemmiah's progress and monitor any changes for better or worse in her condition. Initially An-Paj had remained slightly pessimistic as to the outcome, preferring to err on the side of caution rather than give Qui-Gon any false hope. Frequently during those darker days the master wondered exactly how he and the other visitors looked to Jemmiah as she lay there on her bed, numbed and virtually senseless. Did she recognize them at all? Was she aware of Simeon's presence beside her when he sat in for them? On day four Jemmiah's condition started to take a slight turn for the better and An-Paj began to relax a little, deciding to share the encouraging news at last with Qui-Gon. "Good news." The healer smiled. "I think it's about time that we had some of that, don't you?" "And?" Jinn held his breath slightly as he listened for the reply. "She seems to be responding to her medication at long last." An-Paj nodded down at his notes with considerable satisfaction. "It's taken us a long time to actually get to grips with this illness but I feel that at last we are beginning to make real progress." "Thank the force." He heard Obi-Wan mumble under his breath. "I couldn't have said it any better myself, young man." An-Paj replied with a crooked smile. "Not just for the sake of the girl but your master too, who I think has slowly been wearing his legs out with all the pacing he'd done." "Expectant father syndrome." Obi-Wan managed to snicker. "Let's just hope that's something you will never have to experience, padawan." Qui-Gon replied, his voice suddenly sounding tired and his face easing of some of the lines which had etched itself onto his face over recent days. His eyes flicked over to An-Paj, looking at the healer uncertainly. "May we see her?" "Of course." An-Paj waved him towards the door. "But remember, she's still extremely woozy. We'll hopefully be able to reduce the level of both the drugs and the anesthesia with every day that passes so she'll be able to speak a little more coherently as time goes by." Sadly, Qui-Gon barely managed to get two words out of Jemmiah that made any sense. It was distressing to both of them to see her in such a state even though they knew she was in the right place. Still, the urge to just pick her up and take her home with him was getting strangely more fierce with each day that passed. He'd have to come to a definite decision soon on whether to ask the council to grant him Jemmiah's temporary custody or not. What decided him in the end was not so much his own selfish will or the overwhelming prompting of the force but rather his padawan's behavior towards the girl. Qui-Gon was now certain that Jemmiah could make out certain things such as voices and blurred faces, even through her drug-induced haze. Obi-Wan had been quietly talking to her as if there was not a thing wrong, speaking of things he had heard about and people who had given him their best wishes to take to her. His voice remained quiet but steady and Qui-Gon felt his already considerable admiration for the young man rise even further. They got on well. What more was there to think about? Go on, Jinn! he urged himself. You have to do this. It's the only way! "Padawan…" Qui-Gon began to say in a manner cautious enough to startle Obi-Wan out of his one-sided conversation with Jemmiah. "Master?" Kenobi stared back at the inscrutable face. "I wonder if…" Qui-Gon suddenly felt rather foolish. "…it doesn't matter. Nothing that won't keep for the moment at least." "If you say so, master." Obi-Wan blinked in confusion before turning back to Jemmiah. Qui-Gon sighed inwardly. This wasn't proving easy at all. |