| He'd carried her back to the bed she had escaped from hours ago, knowing that this time she would have little choice but to stay put. For her part Jemmiah had stayed very quiet, almost as if the fight had been knocked out of her. He remained torn between trying to help the Corellian child as best he could and fetching Vernice so that she could get some well deserved rest, in the end deciding that Master Ashdal would surely not begrudge him a further half hour with the girl when the circumstances were made known. Obi-Wan could sit with her for a while - when he finally condescended to wake up - and the three of them could take it in turns to stay near her: one beside Jemmiah, one sleeping and one taking the watch. It was a rota that he had hoped to avoid but it seemed as if time had finally caught them all up. The first thing Jemmiah had done when he had placed her on the bed and pulled the blanket over her was to half turn her body away and face the wall so that she wouldn't have to see him, and Qui-Gon felt his heart sink at the sight…but how was he supposed to keep her spirits up now? "Don't give up now." He urged her, placing his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure once we get you safely to our infirmary you will be fine." For a while there was no answer and Qui-Gon wondered if she was even listening to him. Her eyes, although he could not see them, were burning an invisible path straight to the wall, refusing to show him how upset she was. Finally she gave him an answer. "I've seen people who got sick like this before me." She mumbled, playing with a strand of her hair between finger and thumb. "When we first didn't know what it was…before we knew what it did. I'll never forget the first girl who caught it. We didn't have a medi-droid but Merdan didn't want to take her off planet to get checked over, so she got sicker and sicker until she got so thin it looked like you could snap her in half like a twig." She swallowed. "And what happened to her?" He asked her gently. "They kept her out of sight incase her appearance upset anybody." Jemmy continued in a low voice. "But the strain got too much for her and her heart gave in. It wasn't very nice to see." "I can imagine." Qui-Gon watched the girl shiver slightly. "Are you cold?" "A little." Jemmy nodded. Qui-Gon would have given her his robe - had he brought it with him. Instead he had to look about him for an alternative source of heating, his eyes alighting upon the gently snoring shape of the fourteen-year-old padawan on the bed opposite. That would kill two Mynocks with one blaster… He walked over to the dozing boy and pulled the covers off his body, gathering them up and bringing them over with him as he returned to Jemmiah's bed to spread them over her. The girl protested, knowing what he was doing even though she was facing the other way. "Sir, please don't do that…poor Obi-Wan!" She pleaded with him. "I feel really bad about it now! I'm not that cold!" "Not anymore you're not." Qui-Gon agreed as he spread the covers over her. "But Master Jinn, it's not right!" "Obi-Wan has to wake up now anyway so he will hardly begrudge you the use of his blanket." Qui-Gon insisted, perching on the end of the bed. He took a long look at her and silently wondered how this was going to turn out. She was visibly frailer than she appeared yesterday, so he thought, and if it were possible to go downhill at such a speed in the space of a day he hated to think what the state of affairs might be by the time they made it to Coruscant. Jemmiah had such a serious expression on her face that it was difficult to see how he could possibly distract her from her own suffering long enough to help fight off the illness she was suffering from. "Do you think I'll die?" she asked him, jolting him from his thoughts. "I…I can't answer you." He replied sadly. "I don't know enough about the condition you have." "I gave Obi-Wan a letter." Jemmy admitted hesitantly. "It's got details about my family…I want them to be remembered if I can't organize it myself." "I would see to that." Qui-Gon promised her, squeezing her hand. "But I am hoping that it won't come to that. You see, we all want you to get better." "It's difficult." Jemmy moaned in complaint, knowing that her words sounded like a whiny five-year-old brat. "I don't feel strong enough." "We'll be here to help you. Five days, Jemmiah. That's all that stands between you and recovery. A mere five days…don't give in without a fight. I would be sorely upset if you did." The jedi master admitted to her, arranging her hair on her pillow by the side of her face. The Corellian child turned her body back round so that she could see him again. "Why?" she asked him. "You didn't even want to bring me out of Nargotria. I heard you say so. Why are you being so nice to me?" At last, Qui-Gon thought to himself, the real reason for her distrust was beginning to surface. She couldn't quite get her head round the thought of somebody who would behave kindly to her one moment but admit they hadn't wanted to take her with them the next. No doubt it had left her severely confused and he couldn't say he blamed her. "Am I allowed to say that I made a mistake?" He asked her in a suitably penitent voice. "I told you before that the jedi aren't perfect. I have been wrong before and no doubt I will be again. It was never anything personal, I promise. Obi-Wan and I had been charged with a mission, an important one. If we had complicated matters by taking out more of the women you lived with our mission would have failed. Do you understand?" he asked softly. "Personalities or situations never entered into it for a single moment." "I thought it was because of the way I dressed or something." Jemmy lowered her eyes again. "I thought that because I dressed like the others you would think I wasn't a nice person." Qui-Gon hesitated for a moment. "Jemmiah, do you know what the other women did?" he ventured. "They…kept the guests happy. That's what Nadine used to say." Jemmy offered. "I don't really know…I used to hide in the kitchens mostly. Merdan said I was too young to help the other women. I know that the guests used to treat them like they were dirt though. I didn't like that. Nobody had the right to do that." "One of them hit you." Qui-Gon commented, nodding at the covers she was holding round her chest as if he could see through the blankets straight to the bruising. "Happens sometimes, that's all. I just tried to stay out the way and do whatever I was told." Qui-Gon relaxed, but only slightly and Jemmiah could tell that he hadn't been very convinced by her story. Still, he said nothing further on the subject, which relieved her greatly. "To start with perhaps I took a little persuading to bring you with us," Qui-Gon owned, "but I knew from what everyone was saying that I couldn't leave you behind. Vernice, Obi-Wan, Nadine…she spoke really highly of you. She was very proud of you." "I think I was like her kid." Jemmy shrugged. "When my mother died she took me under her wing. She had a daughter of her own, see? But before she got shipped to Nargotria the kid was sold to slavers. I think I was a replacement, sort of." Jemmiah recalled Nadine's smiling face and felt her resolve weaken further. "I wish she was here now." "She is." Qui-Gon pointed at Jemmiah's heart. "She's here. Nadine told you she would walk by your shoulder. Love like that is a very powerful thing. I don't doubt she'll always be with you." "That's a nice thing to say." Jemmy looked at him, surprised. "I'm a nice person." The jedi affected modesty and failed miserably, his face cracking into a grin. "And I say these things because I believe you deserve to hear them. People have treated you badly in the past and now I feel it's about time that somebody make amends." Jemmiah grew silent once more and Qui-Gon could see her thinking furiously. "I feel sorry for what happened back there." She tried not to shudder at the memory. "I regret it too." Jinn replied. "No, I mean what's happened since then…" Jemmy turned a haunted expression on the tall jedi master, cheekbones protruding like some half-starved wild creature. "Merdan will tidy everything up. He won't want anyone to know that he killed everyone down there. The only person who's going to get off the planet alive is going to be him." She stated it in a resigned voice as if it were inevitable. "He'll kill all the guests too." Qui-Gon had already reasoned as much himself but had said nothing about it to Jemmiah for fear of distressing her. It seemed that his worries were well grounded if what she had said was true. The man was quite simply so ruthless that he held every living thing in contempt and wouldn't stop at murdering innocent people if they got in the way of his pursuit of freedom. "You must try and relax." Qui-Gon insisted, trying to ignore the almost comical sight of his padawan sleeping all curled up in a little ball minus his covers. "Get a little sleep if you can…" "No sir, I'll have those dreams again." Jemmy muttered. "You have to sleep sometime." Jinn pointed out reasonably. "You will only succeed in making yourself even more ill if you don't get some rest." He regarded the tangled strands of hair and wondered if there was any hairbrush in the galaxy that would be able to work on the matted mass of chestnut. "Maybe if you were to tell me about your dreams they might go away?" Jemmiah was adamant. Her legs might not be working but her head shook vigorously from side to side, letting him know exactly what she thought of that particular idea. Again Qui-Gon was left feeling frustrated and helpless. If she couldn't talk to him then would she ever talk to anybody? "There's one…" she started uncertainly. "Yes?" prompted Qui-Gon. "One what?" "Dream…it's not like the others." Her voice was timid, almost subdued and Qui-Gon had to keep pushing gently at her to get her to speak. "Go on." He smiled at her. "What happens in this dream?" "Well," Jemmy half shut her eyes as she tried to bring back the details to her mind; "It's dark. And cold. There's lots of straw on the ground." Qui-Gon found himself frowning, concentrating right along with her. "Anything else?" he asked cautiously. "There's rats and things squeaking in the dark. Like it's a dungeon or something. And there's water dripping all the time. The noise is really annoying…" "What is the room made of?" Qui-Gon interrupted. Jemmy blinked at him. "Stone. Big grey stones. And they are on the floor too, underneath the dirt and the straw. I can feel them with my fingers where they join together, but I can't move them coz they're too heavy. It's like I'm looking for a way out but there isn't." "Is there any light in the room?" Qui-Gon ventured to ask. "Only a little. There's a grating right up in the roof with heavy bars across it. I always feel sad when I look up because I can see the stars and it's like I know I'll never get out there. Then the door opens and that's when my dream always ends…are you alright, Master Jinn?" Jemmy asked him anxiously. "You've gone rather pale. Did I say something wrong?" "No." Qui-Gon shook his head. "You haven't said anything wrong at all." He looked at her for a moment, studying the almost translucently pale face. "How long have you had this dream?" Qui-Gon asked finally. "I dunno…since I can remember." Jemmiah guessed hopefully. "Before we left Corellia. It used to bother my mother. She thought it was odd." "I see." Qui-Gon answered quietly. "Does it mean anything?" Jemmiah asked him. "It means…it means that you are still going to have to sleep, dreams or no dreams." Qui-Gon insisted, turning a blind eye to the pleading look aimed his way. "Now, I can help you. Remember how I healed you when you were asleep? I can make sure that you get a few hours rest without your nightmares bothering you, Believe me it will make you feel a lot better." "Really?" Jemmy looked at him dubiously. "Absolutely." Qui-Gon placed his hand on her shoulder. "If that's okay with you?" Jemmy paused for a moment, then gave her consent with a curt nod. Her eyelids grew instantly heavy; a warm fuzziness trying to force them closed. For a moment she fought the urge to sleep just as a person would fight against drowning, but the pull of the sleep tide was far too strong for her already exhausted and sickened body. It took barely three seconds to put her right under, even though to Qui-Gon it seemed much longer. That would take care of the immediate problem but it wouldn't take care of the long-term one. Things were beginning to get more and more difficult with every passing moment and Qui-Gon did not have the slightest idea how to proceed. He stood up, sparing a minute to make certain his force trick had worked satisfactorily on her, then walked past his padawan's bed. The boy was muttering something about how cold deep space was but was in no immediate danger of walking up and so Qui-Gon made his way to the cockpit in search of Vernice. She needed to sleep: he needed to talk. Dex always had accused him of brooding, although he himself had never considered that aspect of his personality. He could be secretive, yes, but he didn't have the dark nature that went along with his own idea of what brooding was. Maybe Dex was right though, because right now he didn't feel like doing anything other than dwelling on the latest turn of events. He hoped Vernice was in a mood to listen to him. "Where have you been?" Master Ashdal asked pointedly, indicating her chrono. "Your watch has already started!" "Yes, I know. I apologize." Qui-Gon slid past her and into the pilot's chair. "You've been speaking to Jemmiah again, haven't you?" sighed Vernice. "Qui…" "I have been speaking to her, yes. She hasn't had the best of nights." Jinn countered. "I thought she could do with some cheering up." He studied the readout before him. "She can't walk now." He stated. "Oh." Vernice mumbled. "That's not good, is it?" "To quote my padawan, that's the understatement of the millennia." Qui-Gon met her stare for stare. "She's getting worse with every passing hour. I've never seen such a rapid deterioration…it hurts to see it." "You still want to take her on, don't you?" Vernice wasn't arguing with him anymore, he noticed. Well, that was good. He didn't have the strength to argue. "I do." Qui-Gon agreed, leaning on his hand as he spoke. "Now more than ever." "Because you feel sorry for her?" Vernice puzzled. "No." Qui-Gon shook his head, wondering how to explain to Vernice his reasoning behind the decision. "Because it would appear we share an identical memory, right down to the bars on the grating and the fleas on the rats' backs. Now, you tell me the chances of somebody in the galaxy having the exact same memory, and then tell me the chances of meeting that person, and I'll tell you whether or not the force intended our paths to cross or not." ************** Five days. He'd said the words as if it had been a simple, uncomplicated matter but the truth was far removed from that. The first day she had been confined to bed Jemmiah had spent most of the time brooding and being as unobtrusive as she could for fear of making a nuisance of herself. The second day she had been fractious, enraged at her inability to do anything without the assistance of other people. Qui-Gon was convinced that the lively mind trapped within the frail body would most likely go mad through boredom if she weren't given anything to do. He and Obi-Wan took it in turns to stay with her, often regaling her with stories from their time at the temple so that she wouldn't think about her condition too much, but no matter what they did the girl seemed about ready to explode with indignity. The idea of having Vernice take her to the fresher made her furious beyond belief. Day three was much the same. On day four… She gave up. When Qui-Gon had gone to sit with her on the evening of the fourth day he could see that Jemmiah appeared listless and unsure of what was going on around her. The vagueness bothered him, the shaking and the general turn for the worse she had taken each day that passed making him long for the moment the ship could safely set down on the temple landing pad. There was so little time left before they reached Coruscant…and all they could do was wait and hope. Obi-Wan had to his credit spent a lot of his time trying to keep her cheerful and focused, jokingly telling her that if she told his master once more that she was cold they would be forced to walk around in the nude, because Qui-Gon would have donated all their clothing to her! Three days ago that might well have garnered a small smile but now it barely registered on her face at all. "Do you know the first thing we are going to do when you are better?" Obi-Wan had asked her, rewarded by the slightest shake of her head. "I'm going to take you some place that sells icedvanilla and you can eat it until it comes out of your ears." "I'm not sure I ever want to eat anything again." Was the reply she gave him, closing her eyes in defeat. "I'm not sure I want to do anything ever again." "Hey, you've got to keep going." Obi-Wan begged her. "There's so much to see and do on Coruscant. There are wonderful places to visit. You ever been swimming?" Jemmy didn't say anything. "Then there's the mountains…they're lots of fun when the snow is on them. And the zoo…well, maybe not the zoo." He amended quickly. "Why not the zoo?" Jemmiah opened one eye curiously. "Because the last time I went there a vervid-howler monkey grabbed hold of my braid and tried to strangle me with it." Obi-Wan groaned at the thought. "The younger kids thought it was part off the entertainment and were clapping and cheering for the wretched creature to keep doing it!" "Sounds like fun." Jemmy sighed. "Not for me it wasn't." Obi-Wan replied with a snort of derision. "But it does illustrate what I am saying…if you give in now you won't get to see these things or experience what they are like. Not to mention the fact you will make my master and I extremely miserable. So please, please try and keep going." "I'm so tired." Jemmy complained. "I just want to close my eyes and not wake up." "We'll not have any of that sort of talk in here." Qui-Gon commanded as he walked into the room, giving his padawan a nod to tell him he could go. Reluctantly Obi-Wan relinquished his seat by her bed and allowed his master to sit beside her. "It's your turn to take watch, padawan." "Yes, master." Obi-Wan gave Jemmiah a last look before slinking towards the door, and Qui-Gon could tell the boy was wondering if he would see her alive again. He could well understand why those thoughts had occurred because the same thing had struck him when he had last left Jemmiah's side. He tried to make himself comfortable on the chair but knew that wasn't what was required now. Instead he sat down beside her on the bed and gathered her up into a hug, large arm sliding over the excruciatingly thin shoulder, pulling her towards him. "Better?" he asked her, pleased when Jemmiah agreed with him. "Good. I know you're tired. I also know how tempting it is just to give in but Obi-Wan is correct. Why come all this way just to give in? You've got so much to look forward to. And there are so many people in the temple I'd like you to meet and who would like the chance to meet you too. You wouldn't let them down, would you?" he asked her. "Why are things never easy?" Jemmy asked in a thin voice. "Well, if they were easy they wouldn't be worth having." Qui-Gon replied gently. "The best things in life are all worth fighting for, and that's exactly what you have to do now - fight harder than you ever have before. To give up is to die." "I'd be with Nadine." Jemmiah mumbled. "And my mother." "But you'd be leaving Obi-Wan and I behind." Qui-Gon persisted. "Do you really want to do that?" "No." Jemmy felt the arm round her tighten supportively. "I just feel so weak now…don't know how much longer I can keep going." "If you won't do it for yourself Jemmiah, please do it for me." Qui-Gon felt the large eyes fix on his face once more, pleased that he at least had her attention. "We'll be coming up on Coruscant within ten hours. We'll put in a request to land at the temple the moment we come out of lightspeed. No doubt An-Paj will be there to welcome us." "I can't meet guests like this." Jemmy sighed wearily. "I look a mess." "I'm sure we can do something about that before we arrive back." Jinn replied, again looking at the mass of crazed waves that formed the girl's red-brown hair. "But for the moment I think if you are tired we can help you to sleep more productively. I'll try to heal you again whilst you get some rest. It might be all it takes to see you safely to Coruscant." "But I wanted to see what it looked like as we landed." Jemmy sounded thoroughly disappointed. "It's all I wanted to do." "I'll wake you the moment we head out of lightspeed, I promise." Qui-Gon smiled down at her. "You mean that?" "Word of a jedi." Qui-Gon crossed his heart with one finger. "Do you agree?" Jemmiah gave the room an uncertain glance, making up her mind. She felt fairly certain there was a good chance that if she went to sleep, even with the master there to help her, she might not ever wake up again. Truth to tell she didn't really care anymore, it had all gotten too much for her. Leaving it up to fate, or the will of the force as Obi-Wan called it, Jemmy settled back in Qui-Gon's arms and waited until the blackness claimed her for what was possibly the last time. ********** Just over ten hours later and Jemmiah was aware of an anxious face staring into her own. Her eyes were blurred and almost stuck together with sleep but she could just about make out the figure of Qui-Gon Jinn hovering not very far away. Briefly she wondered if she were dead and she reached out an unsteady hand to bat at the feature's of the tall man, her fingers coming into contact with the bristle that lined his face. "Hey, I'm not dead." She sounded surprised. "No you're not, although you did have me worried on a few occasions." The man's soft voice answered her. "I woke you to say that we've arrived at Coruscant. We came out of lightspeed just mere moments ago and I know how important you thought it was to see our journey in, so I thought I'd let you know, just as promised." "I thought I'd be dead." Jemmiah still sounded amazed. "No." Qui-Gon slipped his arms underneath the fragile body and lifted her up. "You're made of stronger stuff than that. You're not the type to give in." "I nearly did." Jemmy yawned. "Then I remembered something my mother once told me." "And what was that?" Qui-Gon asked her as he carried the girl in his arms, shocked at how little she weighed. "She said as long as there is hope dreams always live. I used to dream a lot when I was on Nargotria, even when it seemed there wasn't any hope, so it seemed silly to give in now after all that has happened." "Your mother was a very wise person." Qui-Gon headed to the cockpit where Obi-Wan was already seated, with Vernice at the controls of the craft. He sat down in the co-pilot's seat with Jemmiah sat upon his knee. She was exhausted and trembling in every limb but the sight of the planet that filled their viewscreen had turned her eyes as big as planetoids. "Have we got permission to land at the temple?" Qui-Gon asked her. "Just got confirmation." Vernice nodded at him. "Reception committee has been requested as well so An-Paj has been informed. We're landing in precisely five minutes." Vernice started her decent to the planet, the bright lights of the city that covered nearly the entire landmass of Coruscant sparkling and winking like jewels in a tiara. From this height it almost looked like there were streams of molten lava running in channels along the planet's surface and Vernice knew exactly how impressive the view of Coruscant could be, even to the most jaded of spacers. It was a magnificent sight to behold and she could see just how awed Jemmiah was by the view. Qui-Gon could see it too; content to watch the lights grow in size as they descended to meet them through the planet shields and the atmosphere, downwards and downwards until blurry objects became recognizable landmarks and features. As for Obi-Wan, he was happy watching the enraptured expression on Jemmiah's face and feeling the relief flood over him as they made it home. "What do you think?" Qui-Gon asked her eventually. "It's beautiful." She said in a hushed voice. "But not as big as I thought it would be." "Size doesn't matter, does it Qui?" Vernice grinned as she toggled about with one of the controls. "It's not a problem that I have ever been aware of." Replied Qui-Gon matter-of-factly. Jemmiah had been so impressed with the view that she barely recollected flying over the temple, or Qui-Gon pointing out the huge building as they approached it. The landing passed her by in much the same fashion, so tired yet happy was she to have fulfilled her wish to see Coruscant. It had been pretty. It had been bright and full of life, just like Nadine said it would be. I've made it, Nadie. I'm here, she thought, still not able to take it in. Against all the odds they had escaped from Nargotria. They'd traversed star sectors swarming with pirates. Somehow, incredibly, she was still alive. She owed Master Jinn and Obi-Wan and Vernice her life. Should she survive Jemmiah would never allow herself to forget it. The ramp descended and after a moment of distant mumbled voices Jemmiah could hear the clump of feet making their way onto the ship. Detachedly Jemmiah caught little snippets and words as Vernice tried to get whoever it was to follow her to where she and Qui-Gon were sitting. Things got slightly blurry for a moment, and then the next thing Jemmiah recalled was looking into the face of a man with blue skin and a shock of white hair, smoothed back from the crown of his head. The eyes twinkled with something akin to liveliness whilst the lips were quirky yet sympathetic. To top the look of the extraordinary man a pair of elegant antennae topped his forehead, moving slightly as he frowned down at her. "So, you must be Jemmiah." The melodic voice inquired of her. "Vernice explained that you were very ill. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is An-Paj and I am a healer at the temple." He shot Qui-Gon a humorous look. "Despite what some people might tell you." He made a show of examining her from various angles and Jemmiah wondered if this was how it felt to be one of those creatures at the zoo that Obi-Wan had been describing. "You're dehydrated. I'm afraid we are going to have to get some liquid into you as soon as possible…" Jemmiah caught sight of the enormous sized needle that appeared out of nowhere - and promptly blacked out in Qui-Gon's arms. An-Paj shook his head slightly. "You know, every now and then it's nice to have a conversation with people who aren't actually unconscious." He sighed. |
| As Long as there is Hope By Jemmiah |